¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think we should continue these rocket launches at the cost of accidents that can inflict harm

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2023-03-26 726

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I believe we should continue these rocket launches at the cost of accidents that can inflict harm on innocent civilians. Every day, hours, minutes¡¦ Every moment the earth is going to collapse. A lot of countries have been suffering from natural disasters. The world will no longer exist. At this point, no one may deny this fact. So what? We need to find the solution to survive, which is these rocket launches. Of course, innocent civilians will suffer the cost of accidents. But we need to do something to prepare for the future. There is one feature that people who succeed in their life, which is scarification; also means effort. Peter the Great of Russia expanded his territory by scarifying his empire and citizens; so Russia became the strongest empire then. This is what I mean. Someone must sacrifice and show a huge effort to develop, improve, and succeed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

A near perfectly written composition essay, Su A!  It was convincing, and props to you for using a moment from history as an example. As for my suggestion, when you implied that civilians will certainly suffer, it would be nice if you mentioned that improvements for these rocket launches, if they are to continue, should also consider to ensure that few to no civilians should be hurt. I think your readers would appreciate that feeling of reassurance.  I'm curious if you knew about Peter the Great of Russia from books you've read in the past? If so, it goes to show that reading books can go a long way and take you far. You'll never run out of things to say when you read books.  
~T.Harmony <3

I believe we should continue these rocket launches at the cost of accidents that can inflict harm on innocent civilians. 
>> CORRECT!
Every day, hours, minutes¡¦ Every moment the earth is going to collapse. 
>> Every day, every hour, every minute... Every moment, there is a huge possibility that the earth might collapse.
A lot of countries have been suffering from natural disasters. 
>> CORRECT!
The world will no longer exist.
>> CORRECT!
At this point, no one may deny this fact. 
>> CORRECT!
So what? We need to find the solution to survive, which is these rocket launches. 
>> CORRECT!
Of course, innocent civilians will suffer the cost of accidents. 
>> CORRECT!
But we need to do something to prepare for the future. 
>> CORRECT!
There is one feature that people who succeed in their life, which is scarification; also means effort. 
>> ...feature used by people who have succeeded in their lives, which is scarification; also means effort.
Peter the Great of Russia expanded his territory by scarifying his empire and citizens; so Russia became the strongest empire then. 
>> CORRECT!
This is what I mean. 
>> CORRECT!
Someone must sacrifice and show a huge effort to develop, improve, and succeed.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129238 DIRECTIONS: Make a sentence using the words: ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2
129237 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 3095
129236 What is the best restaurant in your town? Do you like going... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2
129235 How would you describe an ideal weekend? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 0
129234 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2346
129233 My most passionate thing Çã*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2548
129232 Today\'s my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1936
129231 When to take an opportunity ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2470
129230 My dream house ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2161
129229 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2218
129228 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 1967
129227 Do you think mental health is more important than physical... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2831
129226 What are other major issues that you can observe in New York? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2562
129225 In your opinion, what is the most difficult part of learning... Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2822
129224 taxi-drones Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 3486
129223 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 0
129222 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2386
129221 I think it\'s the destruction of the ozone layer. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 2341
129220 I don\'t know well. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 1624
129219 Homework 6/30 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04