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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-03-26 1564

회원님의 영작문

Hello.
Which day is today?
Because I work everyday, sometimes I forget the date.
Anyway, as I said before, we conducted a seminar in seoul yesterday.
Just after closing our clinic, we were supposed to go there, but we couldn't make it on time.
That's because Dr.MJ's coference file was broken, and we didn't know how to solve it immediately.
In conclusion, Dr.MJ gave up to correct his file, and he presentated with an old file.
In addtion, I hurt my finger last morning.
In fact, everything looked like a nightmare yesterday.
Fortunately, we could be alert just before the opening of the seminar.
Of course, we did it well.
And after the seminar, we drank some whiskey and beer with chicken and snack with many doctors who came to our seminar.
It was a really good moment.
Thus, my condition is good today in spite of lacking of sleep.
Meanwhile, the best memorable class in my life was a swim class.
It was very interesting and useful.
Thanks to the class, I can swim with my daughters.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there!

Forgetfulness is a normal part of aging.It happens to us all, especially if we're particularly tired, busy or stressed. Overtasking leads to forgetfulness. Hence, pause every now and then, breathe, then work again.

It seems like Dr.MJ met bad luck last time. Sometimes, we do our best to prepare but some things go wrong along the way. What matters is to  keep calm in challenging situations. Coongratulations to your successful conference! I hope your finger is alright by now. 

The lessons you learned as a swimmer can lay the groundwork for a happy, fulfilling life. Being able to enter the water and resurface, controlling breathing, floating, turning, and moving to safety in the water and exiting are skills you learned together with your daugther and these are very useful techniques for survival. I hope you can still find time for this excellent form of exercise nowadays. 

You made so many very good sentences that connect to each other to create a smooth and organized message on your composition. Your effort and thinkning skills are always evident on your work,  excellent job!

Have a very good day, Dr. Kim!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

Which day is today?
>> Which day is it today?

Because I work everyday, sometimes I forget the date.
>> Correct!

Anyway, as I said before, we conducted a seminar in seoul yesterday.
>> Correct!
Or: Seoul

Just after closing our clinic, we were supposed to go there, but we couldn't make it on time.
>> Correct!

That's because Dr.MJ's coference file was broken, and we didn't know how to solve it immediately.
>> Correct!

In conclusion, Dr.MJ gave up to correct his file, and he presentated with an old file.
>> Correct!

In addtion, I hurt my finger last morning.
>> In addtion, I hurt my finger in the morning.

In fact, everything looked like a nightmare yesterday.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, we could be alert just before the opening of the seminar.
>> Correct!

Of course, we did it well.
>> Correct!

And after the seminar, we drank some whiskey and beer with chicken and snack with many doctors who came to our seminar.
>> Correct!

It was a really good moment.
>> Correct!
Or: It was really a good moment.

Thus, my condition is good today in spite of lacking of sleep.
>> Thus, my condition is good today in spite of lacking sleep.

Meanwhile, the best memorable class in my life was a swim class.
>> Correct!

It was very interesting and useful.
>> Correct!

Thanks to the class, I can swim with my daughters.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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