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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How would you embrace cultural diversity?

작성자: 류*선
2023-03-23 753

회원님의 영작문

When I embrace cultural diversity, I'm a person who needs more time. I shouldn't avoid people and situations with cultural diversity for growth. If I avoid them, the growth will avoid me. But Its process is very hard for me. I have to have patience and much effort. First, my obstacle is English in cultural diversity. Sometimes, I imagine that if I did speak English fluently, I wouldn't feel comfortable. So, I'm studying English with Aria. I just want to be an effort mom to her in these circumstances. When she is afraid of cultural diversity, I try to show and express my emotion and effort to her. I also try to learn new things with her now. This process isn't easy. If I avoid cultural diversity, Aria also will be hard to adjust to these circumstances. I try to have positive thoughts and visions with Aria. Even though We look like go slow, I believe we can learn what is more valuable. I also believe God will be with us on this journey. I really expect my future with God. Thank you! :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

What a selfless mother you are, Jane! You are like God who loves His children unconditionally. Happy weekend!-Faith-
When I embrace cultural diversity, I'm a person who needs more time. 
>> When I embrace cultural diversity, I am a person who needs more time. 
I shouldn't avoid people and situations with cultural diversity for growth. 
>> I should not avoid people and situations with cultural diversity for growth. 
If I avoid them, the growth will avoid me. 
>> If I avoid them, growth will avoid me. 
But Its process is very hard for me. 
>> However, its process is very hard for me. 
I have to have patience and much effort. 
>> CORRECT
First, my obstacle is English in cultural diversity. 
>> CORRECT
Sometimes, I imagine that if I did speak English fluently, I wouldn't feel comfortable. 
>> Sometimes, I could imagine that if I did speak English fluently, I would feel comfortable. 
So, I'm studying English with Aria. 
>> Therefore, I am studying English with Aria. 
I just want to be an effort mom to her in these circumstances. 
>> I just want to be a hardworking mother to her in these circumstances. 
When she is afraid of cultural diversity, I try to show and express my emotion and effort to her. 
>> When she is afraid of cultural diversity, I will try to show and express my emotion and effort to her. 
I also try to learn new things with her now. 
>> I will also try to learn new things with her now. 
This process isn't easy. 
>> This process is not easy. 
If I avoid cultural diversity, Aria also will be hard to adjust to these circumstances. 
>> If I avoid cultural diversity, Aria also will have a hard time to adjust to these circumstances. 
I try to have positive thoughts and visions with Aria. 
>> CORRECT 
Even though We look like go slow, I believe we can learn what is more valuable. 
>> Even though we look like we are going slow, I believe we can learn what is more valuable. 
I also believe God will be with us on this journey. 
>> CORRECT 
OR I know God will guide us along this way.
I really expect my future with God. 
>> CORRECT 
Thank you! :)
>> CORRECT 
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