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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The health and medicine.

작성자: 김*영
2023-03-23 394

회원님의 영작문

I guess that not just me but most of the people were under the stress. It is the obvious cause to trigger disease.
Therefore, we need to know how to control the stress well.
Also, it is important to heal when you suffer form any diseases. In Korea, some prefer to the traditional medicine the other prefer to the western medicine depending on their ages. The old usually tend to have the tradition one but the young prefer to the western one.
Furthermore, if someone want to see the effect immediately, they need to take the western one. On the other hand, if people want to improve or change strengthen constitution, they usually go to the oriental medical clinic. Moreover, In Korea, when people want to lose weigh, they would take the medicine both. The western one is more cheaper than the traditional one so people tend to take western one.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Ellen, 
Traditional medicine is health practices, approaches, knowledge, and beliefs incorporating plant, animal, and mineral-based medicines, spiritual therapies, manual techniques, and exercises, applied singularly or in combination to treat, diagnose and prevent illnesses or maintain well-being. While  Modern medicine was built around the model of running tests on sick patients to determine which drug or medical procedure would best deal with some illness. This makes Modern Medicine more precise in determining the diagnosis and how to treat this specific disease. And Naturopathy is a form of healthcare that combines modern treatment with traditional methods. It includes alternative, natural therapies to modern medicine. Naturopathy focuses on the body's capacity to heal itself. ~ Teacher QUENNY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I guess that not just me but most of the people were under the stress. It is the obvious cause to trigger disease.
Therefore, we need to know how to control the stress well.
Also, it is important to heal when you suffer form any diseases. In Korea, some prefer to the traditional medicine the other prefer to the western medicine depending on their ages. The old usually tend to have the tradition one but the young prefer to the western one.
Furthermore, if someone want to see the effect immediately, they need to take the western one. On the other hand, if people want to improve or change strengthen constitution, they usually go to the oriental medical clinic. Moreover, In Korea, when people want to lose weigh, they would take the medicine both. The western one is more cheaper than the traditional one so people tend to take western one.
>> I guess that not just me but most people were under the stress. It is the obvious cause of triggering the disease. Therefore, we need to know how to control stress well.
Also, it is important to heal when you suffer from any disease. In Korea, some prefer traditional medicine while others prefer western medicine depending on their ages. Old people usually tend to have the traditional one but the young new generation people prefer the western one.
Furthermore, if someone wants to see the effect immediately, they need to take the western one because I think that's more effective compared to traditional medicines.  On the other hand, if people want to improve or change and strengthen the constitution, they usually go to the oriental medical clinic. Moreover, In Korea, when people want to lose weight, they would take the medicine both. The western one is cheaper compared to the traditional one so people tend to take the western one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess that not just me but most of the people were under the stress. It is the obvious cause to trigger disease.
Therefore, we need to know how to control the stress well.
Also, it is important to heal when you suffer form any diseases. In Korea, some prefer to the traditional medicine the other prefer to the western medicine depending on their ages. The old usually tend to have the tradition one but the young prefer to the western one.
Furthermore, if someone want to see the effect immediately, they need to take the western one. On the other hand, if people want to improve or change strengthen constitution, they usually go to the oriental medical clinic. Moreover, In Korea, when people want to lose weigh, they would take the medicine both. The western one is more cheaper than the traditional one so people tend to take western one.
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