¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Festival

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*Àº
2023-03-23 707

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My hometown is Incheon in Korea.
There is a Beer Festival once a year.
All ages could get in the Festival and the tickets are free. (Of course under 19 years old students couldn't buy any alcohol.)
The festival derived benefits from the advertisements companies that supported the festival.
And there were beer containers that sponsored the festival, so people had to buy high-priced beer than outside that place.
I've used to go there with my friends every year when I lived in Incheon.
There was a concert, too. Many famous singers or bands came to celebrate the festival.
I had fun in there when I was younger than the present, but now I don't like the crowded place so I don't go there anymore.
Of course there isn't that festival because of the COVID-19 hehe.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Gem!
Wow, a Beer Festival? I want to experience that in Korea. We have a similar festival in the Philippines held in October. We call it Octoberfest. Anyway, there was so much improvement in your writing today. Keep up the great job!
~~Teacher Kate 

My hometown is Incheon in Korea.
>>CORRECT!
There is a Beer Festival once a year.
>>CORRECT!
All ages could get in the Festival and the tickets are free. 
>>CORRECT!
(Of course under 19 years old students couldn't buy any alcohol.)
>>(Of course students under 19 years old couldn't buy any alcohol.)
The festival derived benefits from the advertisements companies that supported the festival.
>>CORRECT!
And there were beer containers that sponsored the festival, so people had to buy high-priced beer than outside that place.
>>There were beer containers that sponsored the festival, so people had to buy high-priced beer that are more expensive than those sold outside.
I've used to go there with my friends every year when I lived in Incheon.
>>I used to go there with my friends every year when I lived in Incheon.
There was a concert, too. Many famous singers or bands came to celebrate the festival.
>>CORRECT!
I had fun in there when I was younger than the present, but now I don't like the crowded place so I don't go there anymore.
>>I had fun in there more when I was younger than the present, but now I don't like crowded places so I don't go there anymore.
Of course there isn't that festival because of the COVID-19 hehe.
>>Of course that festival wasn't held because of COVID-19 hehe. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125705 Would you like to change your daily routine? Why or why not? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 321
125704 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 3
125703 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 591
125702 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 2
125701 Why do people your age go to the coffee shop? Share your answer... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 3
125700 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 228
125699 Homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 193
125698 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1
125697 Busiest day ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 248
125696 The importance of greetings ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 0
125695 What is the most interesting city to visit in your country? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 338
125694 Homework from the Feedback (13) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 239
125693 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 222
125692 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1
125691 When I am alone ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 425
125690 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 251
125689 2023-2/15 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1802
125688 What do you do when you have trouble sleeping? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 309
125687 We have to practice how to read efficiently ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 0
125686 homework 02.15 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 182

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04