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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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What kind of advertisements attract your attention?

작성자: 장*은
2023-03-22 1658

회원님의 영작문

The most interesting advertisement is the one that has a sweet song in the ad like 'apple' or 'simmons'
Apple and Simmons are well known as advertisements which insert good songs.
The first example of that ad is the 'airpods ad'. There was a song 'Down'_Marian Hill and so so many people around the world
wanted to know that song, and there were a lot of questions that people asked about the song like "Who knows the song in the airpods ad?" in the Internet.
When the song matches with an ad, the effort of the ad gets bigger.
Another example is the Simmons ad. Simmons made a revolutionary ad. There are not beds in the bed ad and just use the sweet song to
show the comfort from the bed. There was the song 'Warm on a cold night'_3am in the ad. That is a dreamy song so the customers who look
at that ad can feel dreamy and feel like they are in a dream. I think the effort from songs is sometimes very powerful than anything else so
the advertisement which has good songs attracts me.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Gem!
This was a refreshing answer. Man people would say that a good ad relies on the celebrity endorsing the product but your idea was very unique and I agree with it. Sometimes catchy songs are what makes us remember a particular ad longer.  Great job and see you tomorrow! ^^
~~Teacher Kate 

The most interesting advertisement is the one that has a sweet song in the ad like 'apple' or 'simmons'.
>>The most interesting advertisement was the one that has a sweet song in the ad like 'Apple' or 'Simmons'.
Apple and Simmons are well known as advertisements which insert good songs.
>>Apple and Simmons have well-known advertisements that use good songs.
The first example of that ad is the 'airpods ad'. 
>>CORRECT!
There was a song 'Down'_Marian Hill and so so many people around the world wanted to know that song, and there were a lot of questions that people asked about the song like "Who knows the song in the airpods ad?" in the Internet.
>>There was a song called 'Down' by Marian Hill and so so many people around the world wanted to know about that song. Many people asked questions like, "Who knows the song in the airpods ad?" on the Internet.
When the song matches with an ad, the effort of the ad gets bigger.
>>When the song matches an ad well, the ad becomes more popular.
Another example is the Simmons ad. Simmons made a revolutionary ad. 
>>CORRECT!
There are not beds in the bed ad and just use the sweet song to show the comfort from the bed. 
>>There weren't beds in their bed ad. They just used a sweet song to show the comfort that a bed gives us
There was the song 'Warm on a cold night'_3am in the ad. 
>>They used the song 'Warm on a cold night' by 3am in the ad.
That is a dreamy song so the customers who look at that ad can feel dreamy and feel like they are in a dream. 
>>That is a dreamy song so the customers who watched that ad felt like they were in a dream. 
I think the effort from songs is sometimes very powerful than anything else so the advertisement which has good songs attracts me.
>>I think the charm of the songs used is sometimes more powerful than anything else so the advertisement which has good songs attracts me.
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