¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.20

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-03-20 504

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are so many kind of drinks at the convenience store or grocery story.
Among them, I introduce a drink that is popular in South_Korea these days.
These days, zero calorie drinks are the most popular in Korea.
So, many kind of drinks were released, like diet coke.
There are reduce calories by adding seasoning instead of sugar.
It's not complete zero calories, but It's become popular because
it is low in calories. For example, low calorie foods are also popular these days.
The trend started because of people want to eat food, but they are worried about
High-calories.
So, low-calories food and drinks are trending in Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille



There are so many kind of drinks at the convenience store or grocery story.
>> There are so many kinds of drinks at the convenience store or grocery store.
Among them, I introduce a drink that is popular in South Korea these days.
>> CORRECT!
These days, zero calorie drinks are the most popular in Korea.
>> CORRECT!
So, many kind of drinks were released, like diet coke.
>> So, many kinds of drinks were released, like diet coke.
There are reduce calories by adding seasoning instead of sugar.
>> There are drinks with reduced calories because they add seasoning instead of sugar.
It's not complete zero calories, but It's become popular because
it is low in calories. 
>> It's not completely zero calories, but it has become popular because it is low in calories. 
For example, low calorie foods are also popular these days.
>> CORRECT!
The trend started because of people want to eat food, but they are worried about
High-calories.
>> The trend started because of people who want to eat food, but they are worried about High-calories.
So, low-calories food and drinks are trending in Korea.
>>  So, low-calorie food and drinks are trending in Korea.
OR >> So, food and drinks with low calories are a trend in Korea.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125112 talk about the song you last sang. ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 518
125111 1/26 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 550
125110 What do people from other countries usually think of when they... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 595
125109 2023-1/26 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 511
125108 Do you know how to overcome fear? What is the best way? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 686
125107 What do you fear missing out on the most? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 4
125106 Gathering ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 655
125105 A financial problem. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 648
125104 Would you rather shop online or go to the physical store? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 3
125103 Our personality is change living conditions. ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 491
125102 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 515
125101 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 594
125100 I think the most overrated holiday is¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 486
125099 What do you think is the best movie from your country? Why? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 458
125098 Do you think there should be a world holiday for everyone on... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 487
125097 Homework from the Feedback (3) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 486
125096 What is the best way to deal with feelings of anger? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 482
125095 What do you worry about getting older? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 473
125094 What do you think when you look at yourself in the mirror? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 430
125093 What is your favorite Seollal Holiday memory? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 455

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04