¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.20

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-03-20 389

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are so many kind of drinks at the convenience store or grocery story.
Among them, I introduce a drink that is popular in South_Korea these days.
These days, zero calorie drinks are the most popular in Korea.
So, many kind of drinks were released, like diet coke.
There are reduce calories by adding seasoning instead of sugar.
It's not complete zero calories, but It's become popular because
it is low in calories. For example, low calorie foods are also popular these days.
The trend started because of people want to eat food, but they are worried about
High-calories.
So, low-calories food and drinks are trending in Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille



There are so many kind of drinks at the convenience store or grocery story.
>> There are so many kinds of drinks at the convenience store or grocery store.
Among them, I introduce a drink that is popular in South Korea these days.
>> CORRECT!
These days, zero calorie drinks are the most popular in Korea.
>> CORRECT!
So, many kind of drinks were released, like diet coke.
>> So, many kinds of drinks were released, like diet coke.
There are reduce calories by adding seasoning instead of sugar.
>> There are drinks with reduced calories because they add seasoning instead of sugar.
It's not complete zero calories, but It's become popular because
it is low in calories. 
>> It's not completely zero calories, but it has become popular because it is low in calories. 
For example, low calorie foods are also popular these days.
>> CORRECT!
The trend started because of people want to eat food, but they are worried about
High-calories.
>> The trend started because of people who want to eat food, but they are worried about High-calories.
So, low-calories food and drinks are trending in Korea.
>>  So, low-calorie food and drinks are trending in Korea.
OR >> So, food and drinks with low calories are a trend in Korea.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127566 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 691
127565 What things do you need to consider when setting a goal Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 843
127564 How important are first impressions to you? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 575
127563 In five years ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1
127562 Homework ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 3
127561 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 678
127560 What is your favorit part or your house? why? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1
127559 Stress ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1
127558 My favorite food is pasta. Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 632
127557 17.Apr.2-23 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1
127556 What do you like about camping? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 0
127555 An impressive Chuseok ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 585
127554 Homework ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 845
127553 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 1
127552 How was the commute? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 1
127551 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127550 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 819
127549 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 2
127548 favorite day ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 681
127547 If parensts set a proper guideline, children who are elemantary... ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04