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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-03-19 870

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your weekend?
As you know, I worked this weekend.
We achieved a new record of income yesterday.
The capillary vessel of my right eye was burst, though.
After yesterday's work, I had a family meeting with my friend who is an also dermatologic doctor.
He came to my house with his wife and daughter.
His daughter is now nine years old, and that means she is one year younger than Irene.
Since four girls played together very well, we, fathers and mothers, could drink some wines with many foods.
I knew this friend for about five years, but that was the first family meeting.
His wife was delightful and kind.
We talked for long time, of course, with alcohol.
I heard that they took a medicine for depression, and felt so bad about it.
During the conversation, we realized that there were only few couples with good relationship around us.
Also, we talked about Dr.MJ, because he is a unique.
As you can see, I can get an energy from good relationships.
See you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Congratulations for reaching another miletone in your career profit! You deserve everything that your new working environement brings.

Get well soon with your ill capillaries. This means that you have worked so hard as well.

Meanwhile, when you absorb other people's emotions and moods, you may feel more connected to those around you, which can be a powerful experience. It is important to know that if you are living a pattern of taking on the energy of others, then you most likely have an intuitive ability to feel the energy.Some people believe that emotional intuitive empaths tend to absorb others' emotions and can become easily drained and exhausted as a result. After all, we are all made from energy. You can be very sensitive to people’s energies and receive information that you might not be consciously aware of but has been processed into your subconscious. I am glad you had some people to derive energy from over the weekend.

Being depressed can make you feel helpless.I hope that your friends had some good words of encouragement from you and your wife to live their lives better.

You chose the right words, grammar, transition, and ideas to come up with this composition.Thank you for your excellence!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your weekend?
>> Correct!

As you know, I worked this weekend.
>> Correct!

We achieved a new record of income yesterday.
>> Correct!

The capillary vessel of my right eye was burst, though.
>> The capillary vessel of my right eye burst, though.

After yesterday's work, I had a family meeting with my friend who is an also dermatologic doctor.
>> After yesterday's work, I had a family meeting with my friend who is also a dermatologic doctor.

He came to my house with his wife and daughter.
>> Correct!

His daughter is now nine years old, and that means she is one year younger than Irene.
>> Correct!

Since four girls played together very well, we, fathers and mothers, could drink some wines with many foods.
>> Since four girls played together very well, we, fathers and mothers, could drink some wine with much food.

I knew this friend for about five years, but that was the first family meeting.
>> Correct!

His wife was delightful and kind.
>> Correct!

We talked for long time, of course, with alcohol.
>> We talked for a long time, of course, with alcohol.

I heard that they took a medicine for depression, and felt so bad about it.
>> Correct!

During the conversation, we realized that there were only few couples with good relationship around us.
>> During the conversation, we realized that there were only a few couples with good relationship around us.

Also, we talked about Dr.MJ, because he is a unique.
>> Also, we talked about Dr.MJ, because he is unique.

As you can see, I can get an energy from good relationships.
>> Correct!
Or:  As you can see, I can get energy from good relationships.

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
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