¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-03-19 378

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I expect that my generation will live more than 75 on average. Many people will be healthy because of the good technology. Also, they can eat various food and exercise themselves. So I think they can live 100 years. But sometimes, people can die suddenly. So 75 is my expectation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Monday, Robin!
I agree. With the advanced technology nowadays, people have a higher chance of living longer. However, there are still instances that technology can be the cause of early death like people becoming too lazy because of gadgets and appliances. By the way, good job with your sentences. Your English writing skills have greatly improved.
-T. Caitlyn
I expect that my generation will live more than 75 on average. 
>> CORRECT
Many people will be healthy because of the good technology. 
>> CORRECT
Also, they can eat various food and exercise themselves. So I think they can live 100 years. 
>> Also, they can eat various food and exercise so I think they can live up to 100 years. 
But sometimes, people can die suddenly. 
>> CORRECT
So 75 is my expectation.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127520 4/17 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 678
127519 What\'s your daughter\'s favorite bedtime story? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127518 Weekend ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 6
127517 14.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 2
127516 When in Rome ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 692
127515 Please use the word in a sentence:1.New year ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127514 HOMEWORK FOR 04/14 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1
127513 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 0
127512 I think we don\'t have to put them in the jail À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 670
127511 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 761
127510 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1
127509 Homework for 04/14 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 4
127508 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 0
127507 What is the necessity of resting? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1
127506 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 3
127505 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 2
127504 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 3
127503 Answer about Closest Friend ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 5
127502 Traveling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1
127501 I can say that smartphone is necessary item in nowadays. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04