¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-03-19 468

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I expect that my generation will live more than 75 on average. Many people will be healthy because of the good technology. Also, they can eat various food and exercise themselves. So I think they can live 100 years. But sometimes, people can die suddenly. So 75 is my expectation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Monday, Robin!
I agree. With the advanced technology nowadays, people have a higher chance of living longer. However, there are still instances that technology can be the cause of early death like people becoming too lazy because of gadgets and appliances. By the way, good job with your sentences. Your English writing skills have greatly improved.
-T. Caitlyn
I expect that my generation will live more than 75 on average. 
>> CORRECT
Many people will be healthy because of the good technology. 
>> CORRECT
Also, they can eat various food and exercise themselves. So I think they can live 100 years. 
>> Also, they can eat various food and exercise so I think they can live up to 100 years. 
But sometimes, people can die suddenly. 
>> CORRECT
So 75 is my expectation.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128505 Hello ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 1
128504 Do you like walking barefoot? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 983
128503 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 1012
128502 23.May.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 2
128501 Living in a new country would be a big change for anybody. What... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 1027
128500 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 2511
128499 Aside from transportation, what other infrastructure are proud... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 1173
128498 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 1094
128497 What kind of sports do you enjoy? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 1
128496 What is the importance of teamwork? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 1
128495 How do you maintain a good relationship with colleagues? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-27 1
128494 Describe your first trip abroad ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-27 1646
128493 People say conversation is an art. Do you think so? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-27 1
128492 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1345
128491 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1255
128490 homework 05.26 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1339
128489 Love is very important. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 981
128488 The language I want to learn ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1138
128487 What do you like doing at the beach? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1643
128486 What is you favorite mobile game to play? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1433

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04