¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

future education

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Áö*¼Ö
2023-03-19 377

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think Future education should emphasize creativity and teamwork.
In korea, private tutor and academy is common for students.
And they always try to go to the university in seoul.
They always fight their friends about their grade and feel stress.
I think that important thing is not good grade.
I think creativity and teamwork are moost important things to live our life.
So I think korean education must focus on these things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Min Sol!
I commend you for the time and effort you spent writing this despite your busy schedule. Thank you and keep up the good job!
~~Teacher Kate 

I think Future education should emphasize creativity and teamwork.
>>I think Future education should emphasize on creativity and teamwork.
In korea, private tutor and academy is common for students.
>>In Korea, private tutors and academies are common for students.
And they always try to go to the university in seoul.
>>And they always aim for universities in Seoul. 
They always fight their friends about their grade and feel stress.
>>They always compete with friends about their grades and feel stressed.
I think that important thing is not good grade.
>>I think good grades are not the only important thing. 
I think creativity and teamwork are most important things to live our life.
>>I think creativity and teamwork are the most important things to live our life.
So I think Korean education must focus on these things.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126388 what\'s the best experience you\'ve been ever had on your last... Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 2
126387 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 356
126386 Hw ÃÖ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 5
126385 Homework ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 0
126384 Can you tell me about a recent embarrassing moment you\'ve had... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 384
126383 What personality traits do you consider important in a good... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 354
126382 1. I can\'t give you this book because it ___ mine. It belongs... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 1
126381 Lesson 16 : Homework ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 343
126380 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 353
126379 Five things i¡¯m thankful. Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 1
126378 I hope the weekend is¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 601
126377 what was your major? ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 2
126376 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 3
126375 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 1
126374 Homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 365
126373 Somewhere ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 2
126372 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 427
126371 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 0
126370 3.9 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 369
126369 s it easy to travel around your country? Why do you say so? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 383

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04