¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

future education

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Áö*¼Ö
2023-03-19 170

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think Future education should emphasize creativity and teamwork.
In korea, private tutor and academy is common for students.
And they always try to go to the university in seoul.
They always fight their friends about their grade and feel stress.
I think that important thing is not good grade.
I think creativity and teamwork are moost important things to live our life.
So I think korean education must focus on these things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Min Sol!
I commend you for the time and effort you spent writing this despite your busy schedule. Thank you and keep up the good job!
~~Teacher Kate 

I think Future education should emphasize creativity and teamwork.
>>I think Future education should emphasize on creativity and teamwork.
In korea, private tutor and academy is common for students.
>>In Korea, private tutors and academies are common for students.
And they always try to go to the university in seoul.
>>And they always aim for universities in Seoul. 
They always fight their friends about their grade and feel stress.
>>They always compete with friends about their grades and feel stressed.
I think that important thing is not good grade.
>>I think good grades are not the only important thing. 
I think creativity and teamwork are most important things to live our life.
>>I think creativity and teamwork are the most important things to live our life.
So I think Korean education must focus on these things.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127044 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127043 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 150
127042 1. We ____ invite the Nortons to our party. They are nice... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0
127041 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 179
127040 3.30 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 155
127039 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0
127038 Impulsive buyer ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127037 3.30 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 146
127036 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127035 Who are you most proud of among your relatives? Who do you look... õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127034 If you won a million dollars what things would you change about... Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 232
127033 What do you think is the worst crime a person could commit? Why? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 308
127032 execution ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 260
127031 Networking ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 3
127030 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 222
127029 Kinship and friendship ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 459
127028 Smiling!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1080
127027 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 271
127026 What is an ideal family life like for you? õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127025 my dream job is adventurer À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 234

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04