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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Do you think it is valid for the rental properties in the article to ask for $190 a night from their

작성자: 이*아
2023-03-17 939

회원님의 영작문

Prince William is a King of the United Kingdom, and also the elder son of King Charles III. After King Charles III died, Prince William naturally became the British throne. As the British throne, his main functions are to control all the becoming law, give royal authority to bills passed by parliament, appoint the Prime Minister, etc. In other words, the role of the British throne is considered an essential and valuable person in the United Kingdom. However, in the U.K, there are helicopters, which are used for rental properties and it's worth $190 per night. The reason why it's worth $190 is that Prince William had piloted and stayed in it before. Do you believe 190$ is the suitable price per day? Absolutely. Because from a foreigner's perspective, maybe they say it's a crazy price. But Royalist is the most important property in the U.K. Thus, whether it's price expensive, the citizens of England may want to go because of loyalty. Loyalty rules the country and leads the genealogy.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good essay, Su A!  You introduced your essay by giving out few yet important details about Prince William, who was the main topic of the question. In fact, this essay leans towards a persuasive tone because you successfully convinced your readers to understand your perspective by mentioning the status, duties, and responsibilities of Prince William, especially once he becomes King. This effectively enhances the significance of Prince William, as it separates him from an ordinary man. I also like the fact that you mentioned the citizens of England, who will likely see the price in a different light because of loyalty and genealogy. 
~T.Harmony <3

Prince William is a King of the United Kingdom, and also the elder son of King Charles III. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...eldest son of King Charles III.
After King Charles III died, Prince William naturally became the British throne. 
>> After King Charles III dies, Prince William will naturally ascend to the British throne.
(Since this has not yet happened, we cannot use past tense. ^^)
As the British throne, his main functions are to control all the becoming law, give royal authority to bills passed by parliament, appoint the Prime Minister, etc. 
>> As monarch of the British throne,...
>> ..., and appoint the Prime Minister among other things.
In other words, the role of the British throne is considered an essential and valuable person in the United Kingdom. 
>> In other words, the role of monarch on the British throne,...
However, in the U.K, there are helicopters, which are used for rental properties and it's worth $190 per night. 
>> CORRECT!
The reason why it's worth $190 is that Prince William had piloted and stayed in it before. 
>> CORRECT!
Do you believe 190$ is the suitable price per day? Absolutely. 
>> CORRECT!
Because from a foreigner's perspective, maybe they say it's a crazy price. 
>> ..., they might say it's an insane cost.
But Royalist is the most important property in the U.K. 
>> But a Royalist is the...
Thus, whether it's price expensive, the citizens of England may want to go because of loyalty. 
>> Thus, despite the price being arguably expensive,...
Loyalty rules the country and leads the genealogy.
>> CORRECT!
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