무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

3/15 homework

작성자: 강*희
2023-03-16 661

회원님의 영작문

Technology is developing nowadays. Our life has become easier and give a lot of benefits because of it. But there are some worries that human will be prevailed by robots. It has been very controversial.
I think robots will cause unemployment.
It is because first, it can help the process far fast and accurate. Human can spoil the work, or be sick and old. Human resouces are limited. It is not help for employer to hire a human instead of robots.
Second, Korea society has become older. As a result, business men's retire season is being delayed. So there is no extra positions for people to go in. When the robots appear in this unfortunate situation, many employees will be lost their job.
Some other say that there will be new jobs relating to machine, robots or energy, considering developed technology. But those new jobs probably suit for people with degree or high knowledge. And most of un-employees must be in the service work, which will be vanish first when technical developed.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Emily!
When I think about that kind of future, it really scares me too. Anyways, great job in improving your usage of punctuation marks! There are a lot less spelling mistakes too. The writing was well thought of and very insightful. See you in our next class and I applaud you for a job well done! 
~~Teacher Kate

Technology is developing nowadays. 
>>CORRECT!
Our life has become easier and give a lot of benefits because of it. 
>>Our life has become easier and we gain a lot of benefits from it. 
But there are some worries that human will be prevailed by robots
>>But there are some worries that humans will be dominated by robots. 
It has been very controversial.
>>CORRECT!
I think robots will cause unemployment.
>>CORRECT!
It is because first, it can help the process far fast and accurate. 
>>It is because first, it can help the process far more quickly and accurately. 
Human can spoil the work, or be sick and old. Human resouces are limited. 
>>Human can mess up at work, or be sick and old. Human resources are limited. 
It is not help for employer to hire a human instead of robots.
>>It is not helpful for employers to hire a human instead of robots.
Second, Korea society has become older. 
>>CORRECT!
As a result, business men's retire season is being delayed. 
>>As a result, employees' retirement is being delayed. 
So there is no extra positions for people to go in. 
>>So there are no extra positions for people to fill. 
When the robots appear in this unfortunate situation, many employees will be lost their job.
>>When the robots appear in this unfortunate situation, many employees will lose their jobs.
Some other say that there will be new jobs relating to machine, robots or energy, considering developed technology. 
>>Some other say that there will be new jobs relates to machines, robots or energy, considering the developed technology. 
But those new jobs probably suit for people with degree or high knowledge. 
>>But those new jobs would probably only suit people with a degree and a lot of knowledge. 
And most of un-employees must be in the service work, which will be vanish first when technical developed.
>>And most of the unemployed would work in the service industry, which will vanish first when technology further develops. 
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
129022 homework 06.22 최*� 완료 2023-06-22 1220
129021 What is your favorite song and why? 박*현 완료 2023-06-22 1455
129020 The advantages and disadvantages of TV 송*우 완료 2023-06-22 1298
129019 homework 신*휘 완료 2023-06-22 1447
129018 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-06-22 1480
129017 Homework 김*숙 완료 2023-06-22 963
129016 Should people get limited access to the Internet? Why? 앨* 완료 2023-06-22 1
129015 Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can... 신*섭 완료 2023-06-22 885
129014 Writing Task 0619 유*희 완료 2023-06-22 1
129013 Home work 송*준 완료 2023-06-22 1068
129012 What kind of art do you like the most? 조*영 완료 2023-06-22 669
129011 When did you last say that you’re sorry? 이*태 완료 2023-06-22 1393
129010 What are the common gadgets used by children these days? 이*태 완료 2023-06-22 1791
129009 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... 이*태 완료 2023-06-22 1241
129008 Homework 홍*선 완료 2023-06-22 1
129007 The best part of my day 민*정 완료 2023-06-22 0
129006 Homework 권*미 완료 2023-06-22 0
129005 My favorite movie 김*림 완료 2023-06-22 950
129004 Homework 함*주 완료 2023-06-22 2
129003 Homework 오*빈 완료 2023-06-22 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]