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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-03-16 615

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
Now, I am with my last daughter, Megan.
As you know that, she is a little girl and so cute.
Around 30 minutes ago, I played some board games with her, because she really wanted it.
Now it's the time for my kids to take a shower.
Megan is watching to me, though.
After a long time, I spent some of my time to play with my little girl, and it made me happy.
Regarding my clinic, there was no special event at all.
Of course, there was a moment to get me stressed, but it was just a short time.
As usual, I longed for some alcohol, but I had to be satisfied with a grilled pork that my wife prepared for me.
Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got a hang of my work somewhat.
Lately, with the laser, I removed hairs of other site which the client didn't want to do.
It was not a serious problem, but I realized that I had a bad condition than ever at that time.
I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I always should be careful.
See you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

Kids are full of energy!Physiologically, they get more oxygen, so they have more energy. Because they breathe more easily, they also release the stress and tension that they need to (toxins and stress are released through the breath). With less stress in their system, they have more energy.The energy we rely on every day comes from one of these sources, and while some may be better than others, it is always best to avoid unnecessary use by getting mad easily or doing bad habits. 

Mistakes at work happen all the time. No matter how experienced you may be, it is inevitable that a mistake or two will crop up at some point in your career. Some of these work mistakes can be much more severe than others, but they all reflect on you, your professionalism, and your performance as a boss. Work smarter, not harder. It’s something that’s very often repeated and is absolutely true within the workplace. Dr. MJ knows this a much as you do.

So, thank you for your valuable time and effort in writing this composition. I always notice how you use new expressions to level up your writing and vocabulary skills. Please read my suggestions intently.

Best of luck and cheers to a busy and a happy weekend!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Now, I am with my last daughter, Megan.
>> Correct!

As you know that, she is a little girl and so cute.
>> As you know it, she is a little girl and so cute.

Around 30 minutes ago, I played some board games with her, because she really wanted it.
>> Correct!

Now it's the time for my kids to take a shower.
>> Correct!

Megan is watching to me, though.
>> Megan is watching me though.

After a long time, I spent some of my time to play with my little girl, and it made me happy.
>> Correct!

Regarding my clinic, there was no special event at all.
>> Correct!

Of course, there was a moment to get me stressed, but it was just a short time.
>> Of course, there was a moment that got me stressed, but it was just a short time.

As usual, I longed for some alcohol, but I had to be satisfied with a grilled pork that my wife prepared for me.
>> Correct!

Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got a hang of my work somewhat.
>> Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got the hang of my work somewhat./ Very good sentence!

Lately, with the laser, I removed hairs of other site which the client didn't want to do.
>> Lately, with laser, I removed hairs of another site which the client didn't want to.

It was not a serious problem, but I realized that I had a bad condition than ever at that time.
>> Correct!

I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I always should be careful.
>> Correct!
Or: I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I should always be careful.

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04

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