¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

my room is the best gift

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-03-16 1138

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

my family is 6 person.
when I lived in my house with six person.
I shared the room with my younger sister. that is so unlucky thing!
Because she and my mother had a lot of fight, that make me some tired.
and when I was 17 years old, we're moved it more better place.
and I had only my room, that time's make me happy.
Because anybody don't touch me, and I had some relax.

so I think, the best gift is bring my own space.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Da Hye,

Even the most outgoing and social people require a quiet spot. Your bedroom ought to be a haven of peace where you can curl up with a good book, unplug and watch TV, or simply relax away from the world. It's important to have alone time. By having the space designed how you desire, you can achieve greater motivation and a positive influence on your work and home life.

~Teacher Cathy

 

my family is 6 person.

>> There are six people in my family.

when I lived in my house with six person.

>> And I lived in my house with six people.

I shared the room with my younger sister.

>> I shared a room with my younger sister.

that is so unlucky thing!

>> That is so unfortunate!

Because she and my mother had a lot of fight, that make me some tired.

>> Because she and my mother fight a lot, and it's making me tired.

and when I was 17 years old, we're moved it more better place.

>> But when I was 17, we moved to a better place.

and I had only my room, that time's make me happy.

>>I had my room to myself, which made me happy.

Because anybody don't touch me, and I had some relax.

>> Because nobody can disturb me and I have time to relax.

so I think, the best gift is bring my own space.

>>So I believe the best gift is to have my own space.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131496 Describe a party you attended. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-07 1
131495 Are ther any books that have had a profound impact on your life... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-07 2624
131494 Are you happy with the programs on TV nowadays? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2446
131493 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3014
131492 WRITING TASK: Who do you want to go to a cinema with? Why? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 4
131491 Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3
131490 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°My favorite... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2
131489 My favorite food (Homework) Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3432
131488 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2766
131487 I want friend is--- ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2258
131486 What do you know about Australian culture? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2468
131485 What is your favorite emoji? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3043
131484 Do you enjoy working in groups or alone? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2889
131483 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3
131482 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2480
131481 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131480 Do you think that frozen eggs have side effects/ disadvantages... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2
131479 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2908
131478 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2968
131477 Long distance relations ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2490

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04