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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-03-15 786

회원님의 영작문

Hey, T.Donna.
I had a tranquil day after a long time.
Although there were many things to do, I was satisfied with our clinic today.
In fact, our chief manager will resign on the end day of this month.
In spite of her bad manners to others, she has a brilliant ability to work in many fields about our clinic.
Thus, our clinic will have a huge risk after her leaving.
To avoid a worst situation, Dr. MJ proposed many changes of our clinic.
First, he told me that we can promote many of our staff, and then they have more loyalty and work harder.
Second, he decided to take many works including marketing and instruction.
Third, he insisted that we need more staff, so we should hire many people.
Of course, I agreed with his opinions.
We will have many changes, and then, jump higher than ever.
If I have a superpower, I will capture all of bad people in the world, and do surgery for infertility, finally let them live in the island.
Rest of people can live with peace.
What do you say?
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

I am happy to hear about your job satisfaction in your clinic yesterday in spite of another manager leaving towards thew end of the month. I guess finding the perfect employee really demands a lot of luck nowadays. As managers with Dr. MJ, however, you are doing so well after the big transfer. So, cheers to the both of you!

Employee Promotion means the ascension of an employee to higher ranks. It involves an increase in salary, position, responsibilities, status, and benefits. This aspect of the job drives employees the most—the ultimate reward for dedication and loyalty towards an organization. Now that they will feel more valued, they might refrain from leaving you for another job. Surely, keeping a pool of applicants is still so important as a back up plan.

A superpower is a special or extraordinary superhuman ability that is greater than what is considered normal. It's a pride having a gift no one else has that makes people wishing for them. We have superpowers. We just hav to tap and use them well. Mine is talking nonstop. What's yours? Catching bad people may be a tough one. Hence, we admire the police for doing their job so well.

Now, thank you for sending this composition. Your clarity of thought and ability to express simple to complex ideas is your superpower in writing. Use it well always. Excellent job!

See you in class!

-T. Donna~

Hey, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

I had a tranquil day after a long time.
>> Correct!

Although there were many things to do, I was satisfied with our clinic today.
>> Correct!

In fact, our chief manager will resign on the end day of this month.
>> In fact, our chief manager will resign at the end of this month.

In spite of her bad manners to others, she has a brilliant ability to work in many fields about our clinic.
>> In spite of her bad manners to others, she has a brilliant ability to work in many fields in our clinic.

Thus, our clinic will have a huge risk after her leaving.
>> Thus, our clinic will have a huge risk after she leaves.

To avoid a worst situation, Dr. MJ proposed many changes of our clinic.
>> To avoid the worst situation, Dr. MJ proposed many changes to our clinic.

First, he told me that we can promote many of our staff, and then they have more loyalty and work harder.
>> Correct!

Second, he decided to take many works including marketing and instruction.
>> Correct!

Third, he insisted that we need more staff, so we should hire many people.
>> Correct!

Of course, I agreed with his opinions.
>> Correct!

We will have many changes, and then, jump higher than ever.
>> Correct!

If I have a superpower, I will capture all of bad people in the world, and do surgery for infertility, finally let them live in the island.
>> Correct!

Rest of people can live with peace.
>> The rest of the people can live with peace.
What do you say?
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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