¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Peace of world

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¿µ
2023-03-13 317

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it¡¯s kind of difficult before rid themselves of greed.
The reasons of war are greeds.
Even through it¡¯s difficult to be in peace, but we always try to solve the problem of world.
Always we have to think about living together world people.
Then we get better little by little.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yeong!
This is a very simple and direct answer.
This is actually a good answer.
Thanks:)
~~ Teacher James
I think it¡¯s kind of difficult before rid themselves of greed.
>>> I believe it will be difficult for them to overcome their greed.
The reasons of war are greeds.
>>>Greed is the root cause of war.
Even through it¡¯s difficult to be in peace, but we always try to solve the problem of world.
>>> Even though it is difficult to live in peace, we always strive to solve the world's problems.
Always we have to think about living together world people.
>>> We must always consider how people around the world coexist.
Then we get better little by little.
>>> CORRECT
>>OR: Then we gradually get better.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126999 Which contry do you want to travel to? ±è*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 485
126998 3.29 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 617
126997 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1
126996 3.29 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 607
126995 3/29 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 645
126994 HOMEWORK FOR 03/27 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 6
126993 boss ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 659
126992 A handful of rest ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1091
126991 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 707
126990 My opinion about SNS. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 617
126989 To be happy Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 1
126988 Self actualized Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 1
126987 How will you offer your new products to your clients? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 2
126986 homework 03.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 622
126985 homework Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 883
126984 What are your healthy ways to overcome your stress? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 0
126983 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 534
126982 What do you think is a perfect birthday gift for your daughter... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 4
126981 white ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 494
126980 What is your favorite food? Please give reasons. ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04