¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Peace of world

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¿µ
2023-03-13 121

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it¡¯s kind of difficult before rid themselves of greed.
The reasons of war are greeds.
Even through it¡¯s difficult to be in peace, but we always try to solve the problem of world.
Always we have to think about living together world people.
Then we get better little by little.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yeong!
This is a very simple and direct answer.
This is actually a good answer.
Thanks:)
~~ Teacher James
I think it¡¯s kind of difficult before rid themselves of greed.
>>> I believe it will be difficult for them to overcome their greed.
The reasons of war are greeds.
>>>Greed is the root cause of war.
Even through it¡¯s difficult to be in peace, but we always try to solve the problem of world.
>>> Even though it is difficult to live in peace, we always strive to solve the world's problems.
Always we have to think about living together world people.
>>> We must always consider how people around the world coexist.
Then we get better little by little.
>>> CORRECT
>>OR: Then we gradually get better.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126770 In your opinion, what are the best places in your country? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 2
126769 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 208
126768 The most delicious fruit ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 358
126767 I don¡¯t see much¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 672
126766 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 178
126765 What do you think about TV series? Do you like watching it? Why... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 2
126764 homework ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 6
126763 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 318
126762 How would you define success? At what point in your life would... ¼Û*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 168
126761 Parents work Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 1
126760 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 8
126759 homework 03.21 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 299
126758 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 11
126757 homework Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 275
126756 Sleep ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 1
126755 If you were a comfort woman, would you accept the money given by... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 2
126754 animal ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 127
126753 Why do you think it\'s important to spend time with family?... ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 171
126752 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 119
126751 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04