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It is often said that the rich are growing richer, and the poor are growing poorer. Do you agree? If

작성자: 황*하
2023-03-13 420

회원님의 영작문

There is saying that one law for the rich and another for the poor. In capitalist system, it is almost impossible to be successful for poor people, although they have same chance with the rich. Money can make more money and the rich have astronomical assets before they were born. Of course, the rich get the best education in the most famous school and be tutored by private teachers. It is common to get a well paid job if applicants graduated from the well known universities. People who receive more education are easy to enter the best universities. So, it can be non-sense if people put their efforts a lot, they would get better jobs. I know that equality of opportunity is a major element to maintain capitalism but it should be considered that if the point of starting is same because we have seen a lot of cases that rich people commited like crime using their money and power. It might be the problem we never be able to solved, but we need to find other solutions.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

There is saying that one law for the rich and another for the poor. 
>> There is a saying that one law is for the rich and another for the poor. 
OR >> There is a saying that a law is for the rich and another for the poor. 
In capitalist system, it is almost impossible to be successful for poor people, although they have same chance with the rich. 
>> CORRECT!
Money can make more money and the rich have astronomical assets before they were born. 
>> CORRECT!
Of course, the rich get the best education in the most famous school and be tutored by private teachers. 
>> CORRECT!
It is common to get a well paid job if applicants graduated from the well known universities. 
>> CORRECT!
People who receive more education are easy to enter the best universities. 
>> CORRECT!
So, it can be non-sense if people put their efforts a lot, they would get better jobs. 
>> CORRECT!
I know that equality of opportunity is a major element to maintain capitalism but it should be considered that if the point of starting is same because we have seen a lot of cases that rich people commited like crime using their money and power. 
>> I know that equality of opportunity is a major element to maintain capitalism but it should be considered that if the point of starting is same because we have seen a lot of cases that rich people committed like crime using their money and power. 
It might be the problem we never be able to solved, but we need to find other solutions.
>> It might be the problem we would never be able to solve, but we need to find other solutions.
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