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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you think are the loopholes of the current workweek system in your country?

작성자: 황*하
2023-03-13 1375

회원님의 영작문

Former government has introduced 52 workweek in 2018 to meet the people's desire. Korea is well known working for a long time compared to counterpart countries in the world. Since Korea war, we do a lot of overtime work to be developed economically. We didn't want to worry about food problems. As a results, our country has become one of the countries which is developed quickly. Most people don't have major concern of eating, housing and clothing these days. However, we still work too much time at work so people would like to be balanced between work and life. Previous government answered people's demand and proposed working hour limit a week. I believe that it is really helpful to maintain happy life but some people still need to make more money by doing overtime work. They might have a problem to keep their daily life if they couldn't do more work. It is related to prices from house to daily necessaries. So government have to bill other measures to support low income households.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Former government has introduced 52 workweek in 2018 to meet the people's desire. 
>> CORRECT!
Korea is well known working for a long time compared to counterpart countries in the world. 
>> Korea is well-known for working for a long time compared to counterpart countries in the world. 
OR >> Korea is well-known for long working hours compared to counterpart countries in the world. 
Since Korea war, we do a lot of overtime work to be developed economically. 
>> Since the Korean war, we do a lot of overtime work to be developed economically. 
We didn't want to worry about food problems. 
>> CORRECT!
As a results, our country has become one of the countries which is developed quickly. 
>> As a result, our country has become one of the countries which is developed quickly. 
Most people don't have major concern of eating, housing and clothing these days. 
>> CORRECT!
However, we still work too much time at work so people would like to be balanced between work and life.
>> CORRECT!
Previous government answered people's demand and proposed working hour limit a week. 
>> CORRECT!
I believe that it is really helpful to maintain happy life but some people still need to make more money by doing overtime work. 
>> CORRECT!
They might have a problem to keep their daily life if they couldn't do more work. 
>> CORRECT!
It is related to prices from house to daily necessaries. 
>> It is related to prices from house to daily necessities. 
So government have to bill other measures to support low income households.
>> CORRECT!

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