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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-03-12 418

회원님의 영작문

Hi, T.Donna.
As you know, in spite of the Sunday, I am working in the clinic.
In comparison of last Sunday, a number of patients are increasing.
However, our staff's adaptation of new space isn't done yet.
I am worried if there will be a big problem related to our mistakes.
There is one more concern.
There is no drugstore in this building, so our patients complained about it many times.
This building company requested too much money to pharmacists who wanted to join, so no one decided to do.
I already spent a lot of energy to concern about many things.
On the other hand, I ate a special dinner yesterday with my wife and Dr. MJ.
Do you know "Jookoomi"?
It's a kind of small octopus, and now this is the main season about it.
My wife cooked some foods with the octopus, and we enjoyed it.
After eating too much, we were sick of it, though.
Fortunately, my blood sugar was not bad this morning.
On weekends, the close time of the clinic is 4 o'clock.
I want the time to flow so quickly.
See you

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

When you hold an essential position in a company, it’s hard to take breaks. People rely on you to make big and sometimes time-sensitive decisions. You decide the fate of the company and everyone who works for it; it’s a huge load to carry, and sometimes it makes you feel like you don’t deserve to have the weekends off. I am sure that you can get the hang of it in a few more weeks.

Creating a better workspace often involves common sense, tact and empathy. It includes a high knowledge of all of the tratment rooms. It will take your staff sometime to memorize all of the specific rooms and the procedure done in them.

I was thinking that you can actually create your own pharmacy without letting your clients know that it is yours. This way, you can add more income to your existing clinic profit. Of course, this is not so easy but achievable nevertheless.

Finally, eating well is living well. You deserved that Jookoomi with Dr. MJ and your wife.

There are some grammar suggestions that I have put under your original sentences. Please read them carefully. Here on your homework, you had more points to discuss and experiences to share. Excellent job!

Catch you soon!

-T. Donna~  

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

As you know, in spite of the Sunday, I am working in the clinic.
>> As you know, in spite of Sunday being a rest day, I am working in the clinic.

In comparison of last Sunday, a number of patients are increasing.
>> In comparison to last Sunday, the number of patients is increasing.

However, our staff's adaptation of new space isn't done yet.
>> However, our staff's adaptation of the new space isn't done yet.

I am worried if there will be a big problem related to our mistakes.
>> Correct!

There is one more concern.
>> Correct!

There is no drugstore in this building, so our patients complained about it many times.
>> Correct!

This building company requested too much money to pharmacists who wanted to join, so no one decided to do.
>>   This building company requested too much money to pharmacists who wanted to join, so no one decided to do it.

I already spent a lot of energy to concern about many things.
>> I already spent a lot of energy to be concerned about many things.

On the other hand, I ate a special dinner yesterday with my wife and Dr. MJ.
>> Correct!

Do you know "Jookoomi"?
>> Correct!

It's a kind of small octopus, and now this is the main season about it.
>> It's a kind of a small octopus, and now this is the main season for it.

My wife cooked some foods with the octopus, and we enjoyed it.
>> My wife cooked some food with the octopus, and we enjoyed it.

After eating too much, we were sick of it, though.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, my blood sugar was not bad this morning.
>> Correct!

On weekends, the close time of the clinic is 4 o'clock.
>> On weekends, the closing time of the clinic is 4 o'clock.

I want the time to flow so quickly.
>> Correct!

See you
>> Correct!
Or: See you.
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