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영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-03-06 780

회원님의 영작문

Hi, there.
This is another new Monday.
Of course, I worked so hard as usual.
It seemed that I was used to work everyday and even I enjoyed this busy moments.
Can you believe this?
The most interesting thing in my worktime is riding the pole.
I used the pole more than 10 times today.
Meanwhile, there were many problems in our clinic now.
We felt the lack of staff all day, and our clinic became dirty so fast.
Some of clients complained about long waiting.
One of them told our staff manager that we are not ready to see patients basically.
Nevertheless, many of new clients and patients visited our clinic today.
Tomorrow, new staff who is a man will join our clinic, and Dr. MJ and I are expecting him to do his job well.
To select a better staff, Dr. MJ interviewed many men.
Dr. MJ recommended only two men, and I made a choice so easily.
I didn't want to compare something before, however, I have changed as time goes by.
To make a better choice, we should compare many things, I think.
See you

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello! Good day again, Dr. Kim!

It is another week, another set of activities. An office space is often at the heart of your business culture, it creates increased collaboration for treatments, meetings and enhances relationship building across your staff and helps with training and development opportunities. Enjoy the euphoria of your first couple of months especially sliding down the pole.

Meanwhile, there are  20 million women compared with 6.3 million men working in health care related jobs. This ratio is relatively true in your clinic with you and Dr. MJ being the only men and the rest, women. Now that men are also going to be a part of your team, there will be an equilibrium. I must say, it is a great idea. More importantly, you really need more employees since you cannot be understaffed because your workers may lack a sense of control over their rapidly increasing workload.

Comparing your clinic before and now, it is bigger and better. Staff-wise, are your staff capable in handling all their tasks? Can you sope with all the clients going in your clinic? These are the questions you constantly need to answer everyday.

Regarding your answer in comparison, the best choices are made when we have options and being glad about the choice we made. After all, our choices are the reflections of ourselves.

You had a very high percentage of correct sentences. I appreciate all of your hard work and great effort always. Well done!

See you again soon.

-T. Donna~
 

Hi, there.
>> Correct!

This is another new Monday.
>> Correct!

Of course, I worked so hard as usual.
>> Correct!

It seemed that I was used to work everyday and even I enjoyed this busy moments.
>> It seemed that I was used to working everyday and I even enjoyed these busy moments.

Can you believe this?
>> Correct!

The most interesting thing in my worktime is riding the pole.
>> Correct!

I used the pole more than 10 times today.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, there were many problems in our clinic now.
>> Correct!

We felt the lack of staff all day, and our clinic became dirty so fast.
>> Correct!

Some of clients complained about long waiting.
>> Correct!

One of them told our staff manager that we are not ready to see patients basically.
>> Correct!

Nevertheless, many of new clients and patients visited our clinic today.
>> Nevertheless, many new clients and patients visited our clinic today.

Tomorrow, new staff who is a man will join our clinic, and Dr. MJ and I are expecting him to do his job well.
>> Tomorrow, a new staff who is a man will join our clinic, and Dr. MJ and I are expecting him to do his job well.
>> Very good sentence!

To select a better staff, Dr. MJ interviewed many men.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ recommended only two men, and I made a choice so easily.
>> Correct!

I didn't want to compare something before, however, I have changed as time goes by.
>> Correct!

To make a better choice, we should compare many things, I think.
>> Correct!

See you
>> Correct!
Or: See you.
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