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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Describe an important gift you have, tell us why it is important.

작성자: 김*율
2023-03-05 235

회원님의 영작문

My favorite gift of mine is "feeling less pain than someone else in a same painful state" and "being almost never ill". When I was 6 or 7, I punctured my own finger with a stapler accidentally. Little droplets of blood was trickling down the two holes. But when most people might have screamed in pain and might have been jumping, clutching their finger... I didn't. I didn't even feel pain, and I wasn't stunned too, I was like, "Oh! I got hurt again. OK, just pull it out and clean it. It'll be ok." And I didn't panick! I just pulled it out normally, not even calmly neither panicking, and cleaned the two holes. And that's it! And i was born uside-down and even a month early, but I didn't need an incubator! I was perfectly healthy. And untill now, I've never went to and emergeny-treatment-room too. I almost never got ill, nor have a broken bone. no deep cuts either! I felt this was my best gift. And I still adore it~ (✿◕‿◕✿)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Heather! I agree that being healthy is the greatest gift we can receive. Stay grateful and be happy. We will talk more in class. I will see you. Have an amazing day! ~T. Lyn
My favorite gift of mine is "feeling less pain than someone else in a same painful state" and "being almost never ill". 
>>My favorite gifts are "feeling less pain than others in the same painful condition" and "rarely getting sick."
When I was 6 or 7, I punctured my own finger with a stapler accidentally. 
>>Correct.
Little droplets of blood was trickling down the two holes. 
>>Small drops of blood flowed down the two holes.
But when most people might have screamed in pain and might have been jumping, clutching their finger... 
>>But most people would have screamed in pain and jumped up with clenched fingers.
I didn't.
>>But I didn't.
I didn't even feel pain, and I wasn't stunned too, I was like, "Oh! I got hurt again.
>>I didn't feel any pain, I didn't pass out, and I was like, "Oh, I'm hurt again."
OK, just pull it out and clean it. 
>>Ok, I just took it out and cleaned my wound.
It'll be ok." 
>>Correct.
And I didn't panick!
>>I also didn't even panic. 
I just pulled it out normally, not even calmly neither panicking, and cleaned the two holes. 
>>Neither calm nor panicked, I took it out and normally cleaned the two holes.
And that's it! 
>>Correct.
And i was born uside-down and even a month early, but I didn't need an incubator!
>>And I was born upside-down and even a month early, but I didn't need an incubator!
I was perfectly healthy. 
>>Correct.
And untill now, I've never went to and emergeny-treatment-room too. 
>>And I've never been to the emergency room until now.
I almost never got ill, nor have a broken bone. 
>>I have rarely been sick or broken a bone.
no deep cuts either! 
>>No deep cuts or wounds either.
I felt this was my best gift. 
>>Correct.
And I still adore it~
>>And I still adore and love it.
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