¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-03-05 441

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
There's been a sad thing.
My friend, who were dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.
As you know, she and I really wanted to meet before she goes to heaven, but we couldn't.
I visited the funeral hall last Friday and Saturday.
I met many college friends there.
As I saw her husband, I couldn't help but cry.
He is my college senior and very kind.
Above all, he loved my friend too much.
I also met her mother, and we hugged and shared our sadness.
My friend went to better place for sure.
She has no pain there and we will meet again after a few decades.
In spite of sadness, I had to focus on my clinic in worktime.
It was a good start.
Fortunately, many of previous clients followed us.
In addition, there were many new clients and patients who lived nearby.
Because we have wider space, we need more staff.
Thus, we tried to hire more people.
About my homework, a lot of money didn't mean a success.
To satisfy our lives, we need enough money, though.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend. Grieving the loss of someone you care about might be incredibly difficult, and it's normal to feel overwhelmed by its intensity. Their family were greatly comforted by your presence. You are right, she is now in a better place of peace.

Meanwhile, it is crunchtime in your office even on the weekdays. Without your focus, many pstaff can become overwhelmed and start multitasking, procrastinating, or both. So, always set the standards high with your energy and motivation.

Happiness doesn¡¯t come from more money, more stuff or even big life events like getting a raise or landing that dream job. Our relationships and how happy we are in these relationships has a powerful influence on us. Given that healthy and happy relationships are universally important to all people, building a strong connection to our family and very good friends are truly wealthy.

Anyway, you wrote a lot of correct sentences here on your homework. Please visit my comments below. Congratulations on accomplishing this task excellently!

See you soon!

-T. Donna

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

There's been a sad thing.
>> Correct!

My friend, who were dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.
>> My friend, who was dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.

As you know, she and I really wanted to meet before she goes to heaven, but we couldn't.
>> Correct!

I visited the funeral hall last Friday and Saturday.
>> Correct!

I met many college friends there.
>> Correct!

As I saw her husband, I couldn't help but cry.
>> Correct!

He is my college senior and very kind.
>> Correct!

Above all, he loved my friend too much.
>> Correct!

I also met her mother, and we hugged and shared our sadness.
>> Correct!

My friend went to better place for sure.
>> My friend went to a better place for sure.

She has no pain there and we will meet again after a few decades.
>> Correct!

In spite of sadness, I had to focus on my clinic in worktime.
>> Correct!

It was a good start.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, many of previous clients followed us.
>> Correct!

In addition, there were many new clients and patients who lived nearby.
>> Correct!

Because we have wider space, we need more staff.
>> Because we have a wider space, we need more staff.

Thus, we tried to hire more people.
>> Correct!

About my homework, a lot of money didn't mean a success.
>> About my homework, a lot of money doesn't mean a success.

To satisfy our lives, we need enough money, though.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125106 Gathering ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 651
125105 A financial problem. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 645
125104 Would you rather shop online or go to the physical store? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 3
125103 Our personality is change living conditions. ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 488
125102 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 513
125101 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 590
125100 I think the most overrated holiday is¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 482
125099 What do you think is the best movie from your country? Why? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 453
125098 Do you think there should be a world holiday for everyone on... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 483
125097 Homework from the Feedback (3) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 481
125096 What is the best way to deal with feelings of anger? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 476
125095 What do you worry about getting older? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 465
125094 What do you think when you look at yourself in the mirror? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 425
125093 What is your favorite Seollal Holiday memory? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 449
125092 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 2
125091 I want to spend the old stage with family ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 1
125090 Do you think that teachers should use corporal punishment as a... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 3519
125089 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 793
125088 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 2
125087 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 642

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04