¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-03-05 894

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
There's been a sad thing.
My friend, who were dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.
As you know, she and I really wanted to meet before she goes to heaven, but we couldn't.
I visited the funeral hall last Friday and Saturday.
I met many college friends there.
As I saw her husband, I couldn't help but cry.
He is my college senior and very kind.
Above all, he loved my friend too much.
I also met her mother, and we hugged and shared our sadness.
My friend went to better place for sure.
She has no pain there and we will meet again after a few decades.
In spite of sadness, I had to focus on my clinic in worktime.
It was a good start.
Fortunately, many of previous clients followed us.
In addition, there were many new clients and patients who lived nearby.
Because we have wider space, we need more staff.
Thus, we tried to hire more people.
About my homework, a lot of money didn't mean a success.
To satisfy our lives, we need enough money, though.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend. Grieving the loss of someone you care about might be incredibly difficult, and it's normal to feel overwhelmed by its intensity. Their family were greatly comforted by your presence. You are right, she is now in a better place of peace.

Meanwhile, it is crunchtime in your office even on the weekdays. Without your focus, many pstaff can become overwhelmed and start multitasking, procrastinating, or both. So, always set the standards high with your energy and motivation.

Happiness doesn¡¯t come from more money, more stuff or even big life events like getting a raise or landing that dream job. Our relationships and how happy we are in these relationships has a powerful influence on us. Given that healthy and happy relationships are universally important to all people, building a strong connection to our family and very good friends are truly wealthy.

Anyway, you wrote a lot of correct sentences here on your homework. Please visit my comments below. Congratulations on accomplishing this task excellently!

See you soon!

-T. Donna

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

There's been a sad thing.
>> Correct!

My friend, who were dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.
>> My friend, who was dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.

As you know, she and I really wanted to meet before she goes to heaven, but we couldn't.
>> Correct!

I visited the funeral hall last Friday and Saturday.
>> Correct!

I met many college friends there.
>> Correct!

As I saw her husband, I couldn't help but cry.
>> Correct!

He is my college senior and very kind.
>> Correct!

Above all, he loved my friend too much.
>> Correct!

I also met her mother, and we hugged and shared our sadness.
>> Correct!

My friend went to better place for sure.
>> My friend went to a better place for sure.

She has no pain there and we will meet again after a few decades.
>> Correct!

In spite of sadness, I had to focus on my clinic in worktime.
>> Correct!

It was a good start.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, many of previous clients followed us.
>> Correct!

In addition, there were many new clients and patients who lived nearby.
>> Correct!

Because we have wider space, we need more staff.
>> Because we have a wider space, we need more staff.

Thus, we tried to hire more people.
>> Correct!

About my homework, a lot of money didn't mean a success.
>> About my homework, a lot of money doesn't mean a success.

To satisfy our lives, we need enough money, though.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131115 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2354
131114 Can you describe what slime feels like? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1876
131113 What is the scariest animal for you and why ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2
131112 \"What can you do to attend a K-pop concert someday? and why?\" ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131111 What is the worst disaster that you have experienced? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131110 Would you rather go your homework or do chors? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1927
131109 jump rope teaher is late ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1611
131108 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1522
131107 How do people typically prepare for the weekend on Fridays? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 0
131106 WRITING TASK: How would you deal with someone who asks for help... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 3
131105 How do you show your appreciation to people you are thankful for? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131104 What is an earthquake and how does it devastate a country both... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131103 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1696
131102 HOMEWORK 3 ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1970
131101 What other measures could be implemented to improve emergency... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2
131100 9/15 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2996
131099 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1673
131098 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2100
131097 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1516
131096 Trust needs time °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04