¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-03-05 932

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
There's been a sad thing.
My friend, who were dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.
As you know, she and I really wanted to meet before she goes to heaven, but we couldn't.
I visited the funeral hall last Friday and Saturday.
I met many college friends there.
As I saw her husband, I couldn't help but cry.
He is my college senior and very kind.
Above all, he loved my friend too much.
I also met her mother, and we hugged and shared our sadness.
My friend went to better place for sure.
She has no pain there and we will meet again after a few decades.
In spite of sadness, I had to focus on my clinic in worktime.
It was a good start.
Fortunately, many of previous clients followed us.
In addition, there were many new clients and patients who lived nearby.
Because we have wider space, we need more staff.
Thus, we tried to hire more people.
About my homework, a lot of money didn't mean a success.
To satisfy our lives, we need enough money, though.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend. Grieving the loss of someone you care about might be incredibly difficult, and it's normal to feel overwhelmed by its intensity. Their family were greatly comforted by your presence. You are right, she is now in a better place of peace.

Meanwhile, it is crunchtime in your office even on the weekdays. Without your focus, many pstaff can become overwhelmed and start multitasking, procrastinating, or both. So, always set the standards high with your energy and motivation.

Happiness doesn¡¯t come from more money, more stuff or even big life events like getting a raise or landing that dream job. Our relationships and how happy we are in these relationships has a powerful influence on us. Given that healthy and happy relationships are universally important to all people, building a strong connection to our family and very good friends are truly wealthy.

Anyway, you wrote a lot of correct sentences here on your homework. Please visit my comments below. Congratulations on accomplishing this task excellently!

See you soon!

-T. Donna

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

There's been a sad thing.
>> Correct!

My friend, who were dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.
>> My friend, who was dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.

As you know, she and I really wanted to meet before she goes to heaven, but we couldn't.
>> Correct!

I visited the funeral hall last Friday and Saturday.
>> Correct!

I met many college friends there.
>> Correct!

As I saw her husband, I couldn't help but cry.
>> Correct!

He is my college senior and very kind.
>> Correct!

Above all, he loved my friend too much.
>> Correct!

I also met her mother, and we hugged and shared our sadness.
>> Correct!

My friend went to better place for sure.
>> My friend went to a better place for sure.

She has no pain there and we will meet again after a few decades.
>> Correct!

In spite of sadness, I had to focus on my clinic in worktime.
>> Correct!

It was a good start.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, many of previous clients followed us.
>> Correct!

In addition, there were many new clients and patients who lived nearby.
>> Correct!

Because we have wider space, we need more staff.
>> Because we have a wider space, we need more staff.

Thus, we tried to hire more people.
>> Correct!

About my homework, a lot of money didn't mean a success.
>> About my homework, a lot of money doesn't mean a success.

To satisfy our lives, we need enough money, though.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131527 homework 10.09 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2951
131526 where I want to fishing ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2884
131525 My favorite emoji ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2635
131524 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2155
131523 What was the most special thing you did for a friend in the... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2311
131522 Can You Tell which sentences are True and which are False? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1
131521 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°My favorite... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2
131520 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2645
131519 What do you put in your poket? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 3431
131518 What do you consider to be your weakness? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 3149
131517 Is going on a solo trip part of your bucket list? Why or why not? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2404
131516 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2274
131515 Aside from the smell and the texture, why do some people still... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1
131514 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1
131513 The happiest Yes. ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2257
131512 electricity is a very good invention. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2087
131511 How do you usually solve a stressful situation? Share your... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1
131510 My favorite character is always trying for dreams and taking... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 3017
131509 I don\'t know. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2456
131508 WRITING TASK: What kind of meeting do you always want to attend? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04