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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-03-05 987

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
There's been a sad thing.
My friend, who were dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.
As you know, she and I really wanted to meet before she goes to heaven, but we couldn't.
I visited the funeral hall last Friday and Saturday.
I met many college friends there.
As I saw her husband, I couldn't help but cry.
He is my college senior and very kind.
Above all, he loved my friend too much.
I also met her mother, and we hugged and shared our sadness.
My friend went to better place for sure.
She has no pain there and we will meet again after a few decades.
In spite of sadness, I had to focus on my clinic in worktime.
It was a good start.
Fortunately, many of previous clients followed us.
In addition, there were many new clients and patients who lived nearby.
Because we have wider space, we need more staff.
Thus, we tried to hire more people.
About my homework, a lot of money didn't mean a success.
To satisfy our lives, we need enough money, though.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Dr. Kim!

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend. Grieving the loss of someone you care about might be incredibly difficult, and it's normal to feel overwhelmed by its intensity. Their family were greatly comforted by your presence. You are right, she is now in a better place of peace.

Meanwhile, it is crunchtime in your office even on the weekdays. Without your focus, many pstaff can become overwhelmed and start multitasking, procrastinating, or both. So, always set the standards high with your energy and motivation.

Happiness doesn’t come from more money, more stuff or even big life events like getting a raise or landing that dream job. Our relationships and how happy we are in these relationships has a powerful influence on us. Given that healthy and happy relationships are universally important to all people, building a strong connection to our family and very good friends are truly wealthy.

Anyway, you wrote a lot of correct sentences here on your homework. Please visit my comments below. Congratulations on accomplishing this task excellently!

See you soon!

-T. Donna

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

There's been a sad thing.
>> Correct!

My friend, who were dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.
>> My friend, who was dying because of stomach cancer, passed away last Friday.

As you know, she and I really wanted to meet before she goes to heaven, but we couldn't.
>> Correct!

I visited the funeral hall last Friday and Saturday.
>> Correct!

I met many college friends there.
>> Correct!

As I saw her husband, I couldn't help but cry.
>> Correct!

He is my college senior and very kind.
>> Correct!

Above all, he loved my friend too much.
>> Correct!

I also met her mother, and we hugged and shared our sadness.
>> Correct!

My friend went to better place for sure.
>> My friend went to a better place for sure.

She has no pain there and we will meet again after a few decades.
>> Correct!

In spite of sadness, I had to focus on my clinic in worktime.
>> Correct!

It was a good start.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, many of previous clients followed us.
>> Correct!

In addition, there were many new clients and patients who lived nearby.
>> Correct!

Because we have wider space, we need more staff.
>> Because we have a wider space, we need more staff.

Thus, we tried to hire more people.
>> Correct!

About my homework, a lot of money didn't mean a success.
>> About my homework, a lot of money doesn't mean a success.

To satisfy our lives, we need enough money, though.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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