무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My opinion regarding bullying

작성자: 김*지
2023-02-27 140

회원님의 영작문

I don't think that we can classify people regarding likely being bullied. No matter what, we should not find reasons from victims. Therefore, I'd like to talk about perpetrators.
There are some people who more likely to bully others. They tend to not care about the future, and other classmates. The reason for bullying is absence of sanctions on their behavior. In my opinion, the terms for perpetrator's parents are also necessary. Teenagers should be protected, and be guided from adults, so the action increasing efforts on preventing school bullying must be executed. For example, the group program for increasing membership among classmate, or enhancing education for teachers who charge in managing class could be helpful.
Educating Teenagers is same as guiding one being towards member of society. To make society to better place, we should focus on making school to peaceful environment for our future.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you so much for this Scarlet. You're right, the perpetrators are the problems in cases of bullying.

I don't think that we can classify people regarding likely being bullied. 
>>>> OR: I don't think that we can classify people as being likely to be bullied.   
No matter what, we should not find reasons from victims. 
>>>> correct 
Therefore, I'd like to talk about perpetrators.
>>>>  correct 
There are some people who more likely to bully others. 
>>>> There are some people who are more likely to bully others.  
They tend to not care about the future, and other classmates. 
>>>>   correct 
The reason for bullying is absence of sanctions on their behavior. 
>>>>  correct   
In my opinion, the terms for perpetrator's parents are also necessary. 
>>>>  correct  
Teenagers should be protected, and be guided from adults, so the action increasing efforts on preventing school bullying must be executed. 
>>>>  Teenagers should be protected and be guided by adults, so increasing efforts on preventing school bullying must be executed. 
For example, the group program for increasing membership among classmate, or enhancing education for teachers who charge in managing class could be helpful.
>>>>  For example, the group program for increasing membership among classmate, or enhancing education for teachers who are in charge of managing class could be helpful.
Educating Teenagers is same as guiding one being towards member of society. 
>>>>   correct
To make society to better place, we should focus on making school to peaceful environment for our future.
>>>>  To make society a better place, we should focus on making school to be a peaceful environment for our future.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
126021 homework 채*서 완료 2023-02-27 123
126020 homework 채*서 완료 2023-02-27 87
126019 homework 채*서 완료 2023-02-27 98
126018 homework 채*서 완료 2023-02-27 86
126017 Young people these days, do not enjoy family gatherings. What do... 장*규 완료 2023-02-27 211
126016 I sometimes make food. 오*혁 완료 2023-02-27 66
126015 Homework 박*영 완료 2023-02-27 0
126014 [Writing Task] What is the difference between studying at the... 박*준 완료 2023-02-27 1
126013 How to cook your own fascinating food 김*율 완료 2023-02-27 166
126012 Go back 권*일 완료 2023-02-27 4
126011 Describe your dream dog in one sentence. 임*호 완료 2023-02-27 0
126010 Sunday, February 24th, 2022 이*훈 완료 2023-02-27 2
126009 What are the other benefits of learning another language at this... 김*진 완료 2023-02-27 2
126008 The major change in my life. 김*님 완료 2023-02-27 132
126007 The one thing I want to change 양*연 완료 2023-02-26 147
126006 Do you think animal testing should be banned? Why or why not? 구*우 완료 2023-02-26 220
126005 Describe the biggest surprise you have ever had in your life. 구*우 완료 2023-02-26 282
126004 Do you really need to have a college education to be successful?... 구*우 완료 2023-02-26 163
126003 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-02-26 233
126002 Who do you think is responsible for lost parcels? The... 양*은 완료 2023-02-26 140

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]