¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

A good mother.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2023-02-24 872

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

No. A good mother doesn't have to give up her job and stay at home with her children. A good mother is one who can relate emotionally. Leaving her job doesn't mean she is missing out on emotional connection. And it is also a good mother to raise them financially. Of course, her job will reduce her time to take care of her children. However, this is decided between their families, and it is not right for a third party to say anything after seeing such a situation(Except for abuse). A good mother can be if she can express that she loves her children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Sheila! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia

No. A good mother doesn't have to give up her job and stay at home with her children. 
>>> CORRECT!

A good mother is one who can relate emotionally.
>>> CORRECT!

Leaving her job doesn't mean she is missing out on emotional connection. 
>>> Leaving her job doesn't mean she is missing out on the emotional connection. 

And it is also a good mother to raise them financially. 
>>> CORRECT!

Of course, her job will reduce her time to take care of her children. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, this is decided between their families, and it is not right for a third party to say anything after seeing such a situation(Except for abuse). 
>>> However, this is decided between their families, and it is not right for a third party to say anything after seeing such a situation (except for abuse).

A good mother can be if she can express that she loves her children.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125954 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1145
125953 Do you think that the death penalty would prevent crime in your... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1498
125952 HW ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 4
125951 HW ÃÖ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 2
125950 home work 2/22 ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1508
125949 Why there is not specific program I tend to watch ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 0
125948 The difference in my childhood and now ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 0
125947 homework 02.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 949
125946 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1389
125945 Do you work better alone or with a group? Why? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125944 Lesson 11: homework ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1378
125943 HOMEWORK Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 924
125942 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 0
125941 homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1277
125940 Thank you ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1136
125939 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 2
125938 the reason why outdoor activities are important to student. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1034
125937 friends, begin letter A ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1230
125936 What life lesson did you learn today after your service? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1282
125935 HOMEWORK FOR TODAY: ESSAY: What is your favorite subject? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04