¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

A good mother.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2023-02-24 115

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

No. A good mother doesn't have to give up her job and stay at home with her children. A good mother is one who can relate emotionally. Leaving her job doesn't mean she is missing out on emotional connection. And it is also a good mother to raise them financially. Of course, her job will reduce her time to take care of her children. However, this is decided between their families, and it is not right for a third party to say anything after seeing such a situation(Except for abuse). A good mother can be if she can express that she loves her children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Sheila! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia

No. A good mother doesn't have to give up her job and stay at home with her children. 
>>> CORRECT!

A good mother is one who can relate emotionally.
>>> CORRECT!

Leaving her job doesn't mean she is missing out on emotional connection. 
>>> Leaving her job doesn't mean she is missing out on the emotional connection. 

And it is also a good mother to raise them financially. 
>>> CORRECT!

Of course, her job will reduce her time to take care of her children. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, this is decided between their families, and it is not right for a third party to say anything after seeing such a situation(Except for abuse). 
>>> However, this is decided between their families, and it is not right for a third party to say anything after seeing such a situation (except for abuse).

A good mother can be if she can express that she loves her children.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125912 Your feet will bring you to where your heart is\" is irish... ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 2
125911 The place I spend my retirement ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 156
125910 1. pet 2. take care ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 0
125909 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 2
125908 Which do you prefer, a small class or a big class? Why? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 2
125907 2023-2/22 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 140
125906 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 2
125905 HOMEWORK Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 110
125904 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 135
125903 Rocks ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 2
125902 home work ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 188
125901 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 154
125900 I want ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1
125899 homework ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 125
125898 Homework ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1
125897 HOMEWORK FOR TODAY: ESSAY: Some people believe that money is the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1
125896 What is the most important lesson you have learned since you had... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 134
125895 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 109
125894 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1
125893 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 186

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04