¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think the way people look at failure plays a big part in how successful they become?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-24 630

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t let others decide whether my life is successful or not. How terrible life it is if my life should be determined by others, not me who knows myself better than any other. I don¡¯t deny that we don¡¯t need to be conscious of others, We can be better off with the precious advice of others. What I am trying to say is that It is myself that can judge my life at the end of my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Steve.
Thanks for sending it. 

Cheers,
Jean~~



Do you think the way people look at failure plays a big part in how successful they become?

How terrible life it is if my life should be determined by others, not me who knows myself better than any other. 
>> How terrible life would be if it were determined by others, not by me who knows myself better than any other person out there.  

I don¡¯t deny that we don¡¯t need to be conscious of others, We can be better off with the precious advice of others. 
>> I don¡¯t deny the fact that I believe we don¡¯t need to be conscious of others, we can be better off without the precious advice of others. 
>> [ NOTE: The two statements are contradictory so I find it confusing. I interpreted it the way I understood it. ]

What I am trying to say is that It is myself that can judge my life at the end of my life.
>> What I am trying to say is that ultimately, I myself can judge my own life. 
>> [ NOTE: I'm not sure if I understood your statement correctly, at any rate, the above is my interpretation. ]

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125786 The easiest language ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 1885
125785 homework ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 515
125784 homework ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 709
125783 Dream ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 1
125782 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 614
125781 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 1
125780 What realistic changes would you make to your country\'s... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 582
125779 Do the things you need to bring change when you travel depending... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 459
125778 For my career ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 3
125777 self-introduction ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 4
125776 What is the most special gift you have ever given? /What would... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 1
125775 What do you think are the best Valentine\'s Day gifts? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 1
125774 i think everyone should know \"time doesn\'t wait for you. if... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 531
125773 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 2
125772 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 2
125771 I went to Busan BEXCO. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 1
125770 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 513
125769 Do you think it is possible for a cold hearted person to change? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 676
125768 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 1
125767 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04