¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think the way people look at failure plays a big part in how successful they become?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-24 698

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t let others decide whether my life is successful or not. How terrible life it is if my life should be determined by others, not me who knows myself better than any other. I don¡¯t deny that we don¡¯t need to be conscious of others, We can be better off with the precious advice of others. What I am trying to say is that It is myself that can judge my life at the end of my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Steve.
Thanks for sending it. 

Cheers,
Jean~~



Do you think the way people look at failure plays a big part in how successful they become?

How terrible life it is if my life should be determined by others, not me who knows myself better than any other. 
>> How terrible life would be if it were determined by others, not by me who knows myself better than any other person out there.  

I don¡¯t deny that we don¡¯t need to be conscious of others, We can be better off with the precious advice of others. 
>> I don¡¯t deny the fact that I believe we don¡¯t need to be conscious of others, we can be better off without the precious advice of others. 
>> [ NOTE: The two statements are contradictory so I find it confusing. I interpreted it the way I understood it. ]

What I am trying to say is that It is myself that can judge my life at the end of my life.
>> What I am trying to say is that ultimately, I myself can judge my own life. 
>> [ NOTE: I'm not sure if I understood your statement correctly, at any rate, the above is my interpretation. ]

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126682 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 2
126681 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 1
126680 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 1
126679 What are some common businesses in your country? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 1
126678 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 602
126677 Tell me about an accomplishment that you are most proud of. ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 2
126676 Why do you think people started leaving the rural areas and... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 685
126675 Should vaccines be made mandatory or should it be optional? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 616
126674 Should military service be mandatory or optional? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 613
126673 Are you a risk-taker? Is it always good to take risks? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 1
126672 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 625
126671 First job. Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 1
126670 What are the most famous businesses in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 1
126669 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 4
126668 My favorite part is after school. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 3
126667 Is it good to bring a lot of luggage when going on a trip? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 2
126666 What do you think is the scariest disease? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 1
126665 future education Áö*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 723
126664 Robot can replace human work? Áö*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-19 654
126663 Do reality television shows accurately depict real life? Why or... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-18 806

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04