¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the reason why outdoor activities are important to student.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*º°
2023-02-23 1048

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

some students feel tired from studying. In that case, it is good to relieve fatigue by doing outdoor activities. and it can provent many disease from stress of studying. outdoor activities are really important to study. some people say studying is a physical fight. so doing studying with steady outdoor activities are better than only doing studying

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Stella!
Thank you for completing your homework. 
You did great in expressing your ideas! Keep it up! ^^
-T.Jhozel 
some students feel tired from studying. 
>> Correct!
OR: 
Some students become exhausted while studying.
In that case, it is good to relieve fatigue by doing outdoor activities. 
>> In that case, doing outdoor activities can relieve fatigue.
and it can provent many disease from stress of studying. 
>> It can also prevent causing many diseases as a result of the stress of studying.
outdoor activities are really important to study. 
>>  Outdoor activities are really important for studying.
some people say studying is a physical fight. 
>> Some people think that studying is a physical struggle.
so doing studying with steady outdoor activities are better than only doing studying
>> So studying combined with consistent outdoor activities is preferable to studying alone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125771 I went to Busan BEXCO. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 1
125770 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 851
125769 Do you think it is possible for a cold hearted person to change? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 1763
125768 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 1
125767 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2
125766 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2
125765 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2
125764 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 1
125763 Would you rather have many skills or just a few excellent skills? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2
125762 2023-2/17 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 908
125761 Should we clone extinct plants and animals? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 1153
125760 Do you believe that social media do more harm than good? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 1173
125759 If I don¡¯t get enough sleep,¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 940
125758 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 4
125757 [Writing Task] If you were a teacher, which subject would you... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 813
125756 homework 02.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 682
125755 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 736
125754 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 888
125753 How do you practice long patience? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 1034
125752 Peer preasure¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 1355

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04