¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the reason why outdoor activities are important to student.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*º°
2023-02-23 1038

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

some students feel tired from studying. In that case, it is good to relieve fatigue by doing outdoor activities. and it can provent many disease from stress of studying. outdoor activities are really important to study. some people say studying is a physical fight. so doing studying with steady outdoor activities are better than only doing studying

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Stella!
Thank you for completing your homework. 
You did great in expressing your ideas! Keep it up! ^^
-T.Jhozel 
some students feel tired from studying. 
>> Correct!
OR: 
Some students become exhausted while studying.
In that case, it is good to relieve fatigue by doing outdoor activities. 
>> In that case, doing outdoor activities can relieve fatigue.
and it can provent many disease from stress of studying. 
>> It can also prevent causing many diseases as a result of the stress of studying.
outdoor activities are really important to study. 
>>  Outdoor activities are really important for studying.
some people say studying is a physical fight. 
>> Some people think that studying is a physical struggle.
so doing studying with steady outdoor activities are better than only doing studying
>> So studying combined with consistent outdoor activities is preferable to studying alone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125941 homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1284
125940 Thank you ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1139
125939 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 2
125938 the reason why outdoor activities are important to student. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1038
125937 friends, begin letter A ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1235
125936 What life lesson did you learn today after your service? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1290
125935 HOMEWORK FOR TODAY: ESSAY: What is your favorite subject? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125934 Homework ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125933 What do you do when you see discrimination? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 925
125932 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125931 Sleep is indispensable meaning of existence to me. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 889
125930 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 0
125929 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1246
125928 How can dissatisfied South Koreans be content/satisfied? Share... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 6
125927 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1017
125926 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125925 Do you like animated movies? Are they only for kids? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1183
125924 Smartphones are taking more and more of our attention. Are you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1151
125923 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 3
125922 Collecting coins ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04