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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What life lesson did you learn today after your service?

작성자: 류*선
2023-02-23 914

회원님의 영작문

Worship service is our duty. When worship service makes our congregation happy and touched by God's words, I'm also happy. However, it doesn't prepare worship easier than look. Because worship includes spiritual things. Before worship, we prepare many things with prayer. Sometimes those process makes us lonely. However, I know prayer time is very special for us. It gives us lessons. First, we can check our spiritual journey and relationship with God through that time. The second is that we can realize that God fills us with His love and grace. We should receive supplies of spiritual things from God when we meet people. We shouldn't love people with only our love. If we carry it out, we will be exhausted very quickly spiritually and physically. The last, we can know that only God should be revealed in worship. We can make our wonderful worship service with our congregations grow through those processes. After worship, I always confess Thank God! Thank you, Faith! :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

To God be the glory, Jane! You showed deeper and lovelier relationship with God.-Faith-
Worship service is our duty. 
>> CORRECT
When worship service makes our congregation happy and touched by God's words, I'm also happy. 
>> When our worship service makes our congregation happy and touched by God's words, I am also happy. 
However, it doesn't prepare worship easier than look. Because worship includes spiritual things. 
>> However, the preparation for worship is not easier than it looks because worship includes spiritual things. 
Before worship, we prepare many things with prayer. 
>> CORRECT
Sometimes those process makes us lonely. 
>> Sometimes those processes make us lonely. 
However, I know prayer time is very special for us. 
>> CORRECT
It gives us lessons. 
>> CORRECT
OR It teaches us lessons.
First, we can check our spiritual journey and relationship with God through that time. 
>> CORRECT
The second is that we can realize that God fills us with His love and grace. 
>> Second is that we can realize that God fills us with His love and grace.
We should receive supplies of spiritual things from God when we meet people. 
>> CORRECT
We shouldn't love people with only our love. 
>> CORRECT
If we carry it out, we will be exhausted very quickly spiritually and physically. 
>> If we carried it ourselves, we would be exhausted very quickly spiritually and physically. 
The last, we can know that only God should be revealed in worship. 
>> Lastly, we can know that only God should be revealed in worship. 
We can make our wonderful worship service with our congregations grow through those processes. 
>> We can make our wonderful worship service while our congregations grow through those processes. 
After worship, I always confess Thank God! 
>> After worship, I always confess and thank God! 
Thank you, Faith! :)
>> CORRECT
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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