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What is the most important lesson you have learned since you had a daughter?

작성자: 류*선
2023-02-22 820

회원님의 영작문

I have learned the preciousness of time from my daughter since I had a daughter. Before I had a daughter, I had a hard time to adjust in USA. I was depressed seriously. I didn't live with the joy and peace that God gave me. I complained to God many times because I didn't like my circumstances. I walked by myself with my tears around Washington DC for a long time. I felt very lonely. And also, I have lost the meaning of life that God allowed me. Han was very busy at the same time. Every day I've wasted my time without a plan because of depression. However, I realized what is the most important in my life after I gave birth to my daughter. Sometimes I imagine that If I could turn back to the past, I would study hard with passion. Because I don't have enough time and physical energy now to study English and counseling. However, I'm very happier now than mine in the past. Because I got the motivation to grow in life from my daughter. My purpose in life relates to my daughter closely. :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

This is such a lovely realization, Jane! I am happy you got through your depression and happier now with your life.
-Faith-
I have learned the preciousness of time from my daughter since I had a daughter. 
>> I have learned the preciousness of time from my daughter since I had her. 
Before I had a daughter, I had a hard time to adjust in USA. 
>> Before I had my daughter, I had a hard time to adjust in the USA. 
I was depressed seriously. 
>> CORRECT
I didn't live with the joy and peace that God gave me. 
>> CORRECT
I complained to God many times because I didn't like my circumstances. 
>> CORRECT
I walked by myself with my tears around Washington DC for a long time. 
>> I walked by myself with my tears around Washington, DC for a long time. 
I felt very lonely. And also, I have lost the meaning of life that God allowed me. 
>> I felt very lonely and I lost the meaning of life that God allowed. 
Han was very busy at the same time. 
>> CORRECT
Every day I've wasted my time without a plan because of depression. 
>> CORRECT
However, I realized what is the most important in my life after I gave birth to my daughter. 
>> However, I realized what the most important thing in my life is after I gave birth to my daughter. 
Sometimes I imagine that If I could turn back to the past, I would study hard with passion. 
>> Sometimes, I imagine that if I could turn back time, I would study hard with passion. 
Because I don't have enough time and physical energy now to study English and counseling. 
>> I do not have enough time and physical energy now to study English and counseling. 
However, I'm very happier now than mine in the past. Because I got the motivation to grow in life from my daughter.
>> However, I am happier now than in the past because I got the motivation to grow in life from my daughter. 
My purpose in life relates to my daughter closely. :)
>> CORRECT
OR My daughter is a great factor why I know my purpose in life.
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