¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think rural populations think about the pollution and mess cities are creating?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-22 555

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People in rural areas usually live here all through their years. So They might feel sick at the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. Moreover, the lifestyle of the city is totally different from the one of the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. As the story of a city mouse and a country mouse shows us, many people from country to city will head back to the country because of the city¡¯s cold individualism and polluted environments.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Steve!

Here's your edited composition. 
I appreciate your sending it. See you soon! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



          What do you think rural populations think about the pollution and mess cities are creating?

People in rural areas usually live here all through their years.
>> OR: Rural people have mostly lived here all their life. 

So They might feel sick at the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 
>> So they might feel sick and tired of the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 
>> OR: Consquently, they might feel sick owing to the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 

Moreover, the lifestyle of the city is totally different from the one of the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. 
>> Moreover, the lifestyle in the city is totally different from the one in the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. 

As the story of a city mouse and a country mouse shows us, many people from country to city will head back to the country because of the city¡¯s cold individualism and polluted environments.
>> OR: As shown in the story of a city mouse and a country mouse, many people from the country who moved to the city will eventually head back to the country because of the city's cold individualism and polluted environment. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124752 registeration ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 1
124751 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 374
124750 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 6
124749 Explain your favorite game. What should a player do to win? What... ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 2
124748 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 2
124747 Choose the opposite word of the given word each number. ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 705
124746 What are your current goals in life? How do you plan to reach? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 569
124745 have to cook ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 2
124744 Most Interesting Thing ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 664
124743 What are some things you shouldn\'t ask people you just met? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 691
124742 Fruit that is the mostly consumed ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 679
124741 1/10 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 15
124740 9.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 1
124739 Who are better than you? Why do you say so? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 0
124738 Do you like politics? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 2
124737 I am looking for a house to live. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 404
124736 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 409
124735 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 428
124734 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 332
124733 Do abusers show any potential warning signs? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04