¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think rural populations think about the pollution and mess cities are creating?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-22 276

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People in rural areas usually live here all through their years. So They might feel sick at the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. Moreover, the lifestyle of the city is totally different from the one of the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. As the story of a city mouse and a country mouse shows us, many people from country to city will head back to the country because of the city¡¯s cold individualism and polluted environments.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Steve!

Here's your edited composition. 
I appreciate your sending it. See you soon! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



          What do you think rural populations think about the pollution and mess cities are creating?

People in rural areas usually live here all through their years.
>> OR: Rural people have mostly lived here all their life. 

So They might feel sick at the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 
>> So they might feel sick and tired of the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 
>> OR: Consquently, they might feel sick owing to the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 

Moreover, the lifestyle of the city is totally different from the one of the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. 
>> Moreover, the lifestyle in the city is totally different from the one in the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. 

As the story of a city mouse and a country mouse shows us, many people from country to city will head back to the country because of the city¡¯s cold individualism and polluted environments.
>> OR: As shown in the story of a city mouse and a country mouse, many people from the country who moved to the city will eventually head back to the country because of the city's cold individualism and polluted environment. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126185 Some people drink protein shakes or eat any other kind of food... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 395
126184 The difference between a house and a home. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 505
126183 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 0
126182 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 385
126181 homework Æí*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 1
126180 I like my basketball play. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 2
126179 If you were a snack, what would you be and why? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 411
126178 3/3 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 404
126177 bullying ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 345
126176 Where do you usually hang out with your friends? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 4
126175 Is it important to consider the source of income (like jobs or... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 2
126174 3/3 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 1
126173 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 1
126172 Homework ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 432
126171 Do you like reading? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 0
126170 1. Vacation -Homework °û*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 470
126169 H.W ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-03 381
126168 If marriage will not be for you in the next 5 years, what should... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-02 3
126167 2023-3/2 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-02 385
126166 Homework ³ª*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-02 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04