¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do people\'s goals change from country to country?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-21 171

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It makes sense that there are different goals for people to achieve from country to country because each country has particular environments or elements to influence people¡¯s goals. For example, people in a country with plentiful natural resources are inclined to prefer enjoying life to working hard to get more. However, people in a country with scarce sources and under Confucianism stressing social order and hierarchy tend to compete to get ahead of each other to get higher and more. With all differences, people around the world have a common goal to be much happier no matter what methods they use.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another edited composition, Steve. 
As always, thanks for sending your homework. 

Cheers,
Jean~~



               How do people's goals change from country to country?

It makes sense that there are different goals for people to achieve from country to country because each country has particular environments or elements to influence people¡¯s goals. 
>> OR: It seems plausible that goals are related to geography given that countries have different characteristics, it follows that their people set different goals. 

For example, people in a country with plentiful natural resources are inclined to prefer enjoying life to working hard to get more. 
>> Case in point, inhabitants of natural resources-rich countries are more predisposed to the pleasures of life as opposed to hard work. 

However, people in a country with scarce sources and under Confucianism stressing social order and hierarchy tend to compete to get ahead of each other to get higher and more. 
>> OR: In contrast, people of resources-poor nations and those in the East Asian cultural sphere, which are strongly influenced by Confucianism place emphasis on social structures and social hierarchies and are more likely to compete to climb the ladder.  

With all differences, people around the world have a common goal to be much happier no matter what methods they use.
>> OR: All things considered, the world still managed to set common goals, i.e., to cultive happiness whatever the cost may be. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125872 [Homework] Have you ever given or received flowers? How did you... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1
125871 Talking about first meeting with a foreign prospective partner. ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 6
125870 Are you confident ? ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 162
125869 The best time to study ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 172
125868 2/22 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 3
125867 Thank you so much ÃÖ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 29
125866 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1
125865 Homework ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 2
125864 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 99
125863 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 140
125862 Thank you! ÃÖ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 6
125861 Of the things you have bought in your life while traveling,... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 119
125860 Fly little one ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 9
125859 Want to live in Vancouver ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 7
125858 typical animal in south korea ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 136
125857 What\'s your thought on the right to arm yourself in the US? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 3
125856 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 2
125855 Homework from the Feedback (15) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 119
125854 winter ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 116
125853 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 143

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04