¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do people\'s goals change from country to country?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-21 816

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It makes sense that there are different goals for people to achieve from country to country because each country has particular environments or elements to influence people¡¯s goals. For example, people in a country with plentiful natural resources are inclined to prefer enjoying life to working hard to get more. However, people in a country with scarce sources and under Confucianism stressing social order and hierarchy tend to compete to get ahead of each other to get higher and more. With all differences, people around the world have a common goal to be much happier no matter what methods they use.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another edited composition, Steve. 
As always, thanks for sending your homework. 

Cheers,
Jean~~



               How do people's goals change from country to country?

It makes sense that there are different goals for people to achieve from country to country because each country has particular environments or elements to influence people¡¯s goals. 
>> OR: It seems plausible that goals are related to geography given that countries have different characteristics, it follows that their people set different goals. 

For example, people in a country with plentiful natural resources are inclined to prefer enjoying life to working hard to get more. 
>> Case in point, inhabitants of natural resources-rich countries are more predisposed to the pleasures of life as opposed to hard work. 

However, people in a country with scarce sources and under Confucianism stressing social order and hierarchy tend to compete to get ahead of each other to get higher and more. 
>> OR: In contrast, people of resources-poor nations and those in the East Asian cultural sphere, which are strongly influenced by Confucianism place emphasis on social structures and social hierarchies and are more likely to compete to climb the ladder.  

With all differences, people around the world have a common goal to be much happier no matter what methods they use.
>> OR: All things considered, the world still managed to set common goals, i.e., to cultive happiness whatever the cost may be. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128776 What makes productivity effective? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-10 1
128775 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-10 1327
128774 Would you rather live in a city or in a rural area? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-10 1
128773 homework 06.09 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1464
128772 Parenting skills! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1527
128771 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 809
128770 Writing Task 0609 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1
128769 My favorite month ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1314
128768 What outdoor activity is most interesting for you? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1141
128767 What are 5 things to describe yourself? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1
128766 How will you describe modern technology in your country? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1131
128765 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 0
128764 Effect of text to relationship of face to face ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1196
128763 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 0
128762 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 0
128761 What are your weekend plans? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 2
128760 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1
128759 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1
128758 If I\'m angry. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 942
128757 What healthy habits do you have such as washing your hands... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 951

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04