¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do people\'s goals change from country to country?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-21 895

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It makes sense that there are different goals for people to achieve from country to country because each country has particular environments or elements to influence people¡¯s goals. For example, people in a country with plentiful natural resources are inclined to prefer enjoying life to working hard to get more. However, people in a country with scarce sources and under Confucianism stressing social order and hierarchy tend to compete to get ahead of each other to get higher and more. With all differences, people around the world have a common goal to be much happier no matter what methods they use.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another edited composition, Steve. 
As always, thanks for sending your homework. 

Cheers,
Jean~~



               How do people's goals change from country to country?

It makes sense that there are different goals for people to achieve from country to country because each country has particular environments or elements to influence people¡¯s goals. 
>> OR: It seems plausible that goals are related to geography given that countries have different characteristics, it follows that their people set different goals. 

For example, people in a country with plentiful natural resources are inclined to prefer enjoying life to working hard to get more. 
>> Case in point, inhabitants of natural resources-rich countries are more predisposed to the pleasures of life as opposed to hard work. 

However, people in a country with scarce sources and under Confucianism stressing social order and hierarchy tend to compete to get ahead of each other to get higher and more. 
>> OR: In contrast, people of resources-poor nations and those in the East Asian cultural sphere, which are strongly influenced by Confucianism place emphasis on social structures and social hierarchies and are more likely to compete to climb the ladder.  

With all differences, people around the world have a common goal to be much happier no matter what methods they use.
>> OR: All things considered, the world still managed to set common goals, i.e., to cultive happiness whatever the cost may be. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129836 What do you love about your country? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3
129835 My schedule! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2438
129834 Homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2621
129833 What is your opinion on whether teenagers should have the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2799
129832 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 0
129831 Homework for 05/19 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3
129830 Homework ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2186
129829 They seem to be abusing it. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2864
129828 Homework for 05/12 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2
129827 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2188
129826 WRITING TASK: How do you manage a busy weekend? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3
129825 I think no. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2453
129824 I think sleep is a necessary factor for one of the human needs. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3083
129823 That\'s because everyone has different genes and environments. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2351
129822 7/27 wiriting task ÀÌ*Àç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1354
129821 double parking ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2720
129820 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2122
129819 The advantages of buying your own house in Korea ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2155
129818 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2726
129817 Why we need resoect ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04