¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think people focus too much on appearing to be successful?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-17 378

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it differs from person to person because each person has a particular strategy to succeed. Some people use their attractive appearance or fancy car to win business deals-We Koreans tend to trust those with fancy cars. The other people develop their skills and professional knowledge to succeed. Whatever strategy you have, it's sure that good looks give people a good impression and favor.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Steve.
Thank you for sending it! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



         Do you think people focus too much on appearing to be successful?

I think it differs from person to person because each person has a particular strategy to succeed. 
>> OR: I supposed this hinges on the person's approach to success. 

Some people use their attractive appearance or fancy car to win business deals-We Koreans tend to trust those with fancy cars. 
>> OR: Some people with an attractive appearance or fancy cars have a better chance of closing business deals - Koreans are more inclined to trust those who drive high-end cars. 

The other people develop their skills and professional knowledge to succeed. 
>> OR: Whereas others choose to work more on their skills and professional knowledge as a means to achieve success. 

Whatever strategy you have, it's sure that good looks give people a good impression and favor.
>> OR: Whatever game plan you have, there's no question that good looks can give people a head start on anything they decide to take on in life. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125471 2/9 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-09 4
125470 8.Feb.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-09 2
125469 Homework ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-09 2
125468 home work ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-09 297
125467 home work ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-09 457
125466 What will you do today? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-09 0
125465 The trend ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-09 652
125464 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 3
125463 ESSAY HOMEWORK NO.2 È«*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 1
125462 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 420
125461 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 421
125460 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 0
125459 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 0
125458 homework ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 196
125457 ¡°There are foreigners in every nation, this is the beauty of... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 3
125456 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 2
125455 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 208
125454 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 0
125453 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 234
125452 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 188

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04