¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-02-16 239

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
Actually, I am drunken now.
There is a problem.
These days, I drank whiskey everyday for some excuse.
Because I have been tired everyday, I needed whiskey.
Can you understand me?
Anyway, I couldn't help but open my car's roof today.
I took a lot of work recently, so I needed a refreshing.
Today, our oldest staff who is older than me about 12 years said, "Dr. Kim, you should take a rest. you seem so tired."
In fact, I am full of pressure.
That's why I opened the roof of my car and drank whiskey as well.
There's been a change in our clinic.
There were more clients and patients everyday.
In addition, because the moving day is coming, we should do many administrative work.
I am running out of energy quickly.
Fortunately, my family and my staff are stable lately.
After moving to new clinic, I will talk to my patients more confident.
That's because I will be very proud of my new clinic with the beautiful interior.
Of course, I have to work with my best.
Catch you soon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good noon, Dr. Kim!

Whether you are drunk or not, I think you are showing a very good consistency in writing your composition. So, thank you once again for sharing all the updates and the latest happenings in your clinic and your upcoming transfer.

As I shared in class, I also had my share of toxic moments of mixing hard work, alcohol, not to mention messed up relationships in the past. But then, finding the boundary and balance (according to Beyoncé Knowles) is the key to a better and happier life. So, I understand you totally. However, moderate drinking is still recommended in your case. Be careful in opening your car's roof. You may have a few hair left. ^^ I kid. Relieve yourself from stress in pleasant and enjoyable ways.

Since you are a very outgoing person and derive energy from people, spend it with the ones who make you feel loved, joyful, and appreciated. You need them as much as they need you. Then, have a blast with your beautiful little ladies and your lovely and loving wife over the weekend. 

My grammar suggestions are about correct verb tense, preposition, adverbs, among others. Kindly read and study them carefully. Thank you for the brilliance of your work and cheers to a week of hard work and success!

Happy weekend!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Actually, I am drunken now.
>> Actually, I am drunk now.

There is a problem.
>> Correct!

These days, I drank whiskey everyday for some excuse.
>> Correct!

Because I have been tired everyday, I needed whiskey.
>> Correct!

Can you understand me?
>> Correct!

Anyway, I couldn't help but open my car's roof today.
>> Correct!

I took a lot of work recently, so I needed a refreshing.
>> I took a lot of work recently, so I needed a refreshing (time/ moment).

Today, our oldest staff who is older than me about 12 years said, "Dr. Kim, you should take a rest. you seem so tired."
>> Correct!
Or: 
Today, our oldest staff who is older than me for about 12 years said, "Dr. Kim, you should take a rest, you seem so tired."

In fact, I am full of pressure.
>> Correct!

That's why I opened the roof of my car and drank whiskey as well.
>> Correct!

There's been a change in our clinic.
>> Correct!

There were more clients and patients everyday.
>> Correct!

In addition, because the moving day is coming, we should do many administrative work.
>> Correct!

I am running out of energy quickly.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, my family and my staff are stable lately.
>> Correct!

After moving to new clinic, I will talk to my patients more confident.
>>After moving to the new clinic, I will talk to my patients more confidently.

That's because I will be very proud of my new clinic with the beautiful interior.
>> Correct!

Of course, I have to work with my best.
>> Correct!

Catch you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125765 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2
125764 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 1
125763 Would you rather have many skills or just a few excellent skills? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2
125762 2023-2/17 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 513
125761 Should we clone extinct plants and animals? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 529
125760 Do you believe that social media do more harm than good? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 469
125759 If I don¡¯t get enough sleep,¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 373
125758 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 4
125757 [Writing Task] If you were a teacher, which subject would you... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 264
125756 homework 02.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 184
125755 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 191
125754 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 189
125753 How do you practice long patience? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 469
125752 Peer preasure¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 376
125751 What do you think will happen if you will not support Ukraine as... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 4
125750 If you could change one law it your country, what would it be... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 258
125749 What problems did you have in your adolescence? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 218
125748 What would be your perfect Valentine\'s Day? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 249
125747 home work ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 226
125746 i can explain the best 3 words is see, wait, write À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 318

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04