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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-02-14 435

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
I had a tough day.
As always, there were many clients and patients in the clinic.
It's alright.
However, there was a severe bad event.
Our chart program didn't work well for about two hours.
Thus, we couldn't use a chart at all at that time.
Many patient complained about the delay of seeing a doctor.
And some of them left our clinic without treatment.
In fact, this chart program caused this kind of problem many times, especially these days.
I complained about it, and the staff of the program was so sorry about it, so I moved on without any strong complaint.
I am worrying about this problem.
Anyway, I don't have another choice.
I am used to this program, and I think all of my staff are, too.
Meanwhile, our new building had a brilliant signboard outside.
It was amazing, and I am going to show you tomorrow.
About my homework, my best excuse is that I have a severe problem suddenly.
Actually, I don't want to make excuses.
But, sometimes, I have to do that.
See you soon.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

I salute you for your calmness and peacefulness in times of adversity. I wonder what will happen to your clinic if you were not there... By now, you should have some contingency regarding the chart. This chart will cost you a lot of money if the system fails again. It will be good to have other means of accessing your patient's schedules and treatments.

Your building is lovely, that is all I can say. From the interior to the exterior, it is very attractive and pleasant. You and Dr. MJ did a wonderful job in the designs and the companies who created all the signages and other details. When all of your office equipment will be installed along with the curtains, it shall come alive even more. So, take each day at a time.

Definitely, you never made any excuses for anything. When you are tired, you still submit your homework. When your family needs you, you are always present. If your friends call you for a drink or dinner you attend to them. Your time and effort are so precious yet, you never made any excuse. You do not even miss drinking your whisky. ^^ These are the reasons why you are so blessed and successful.

Now, looking at your essay below, you had two very minor suggestions in sentence #7 and #8. The rest are correct. Congratulations! I always look forward to the day that your compositions will have a mistake or two and this is a testimony of your dedication and passion in English. 

Have a pleasant afternoon.

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

I had a tough day.
>> Correct!

As always, there were many clients and patients in the clinic.
>> Correct!

It's alright.
>> Correct!

However, there was a severe bad event.
>> Correct!

Our chart program didn't work well for about two hours.
>> Correct!

Thus, we couldn't use a chart at all at that time.
>> Thus, we couldn't use the chart at all at that time.

Many patient complained about the delay of seeing a doctor.
>> Many patients complained about the delay of seeing the doctor.

And some of them left our clinic without treatment.
>> Correct!

In fact, this chart program caused this kind of problem many times, especially these days.
>> Correct!

I complained about it, and the staff of the program was so sorry about it, so I moved on without any strong complaint.
>> Correct!

I am worrying about this problem.
>> Correct!

Anyway, I don't have another choice.
>> Correct!

I am used to this program, and I think all of my staff are, too.
>> Correct! Very goood sentence!

Meanwhile, our new building had a brilliant signboard outside.
>> Correct!

It was amazing, and I am going to show you tomorrow.
>> Correct!

About my homework, my best excuse is that I have a severe problem suddenly.
>> Correct!

Actually, I don't want to make excuses.
>> Correct!

But, sometimes, I have to do that.
>> Correct!

See you soon.
>> Correct!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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