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영작교정 게시판

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What are the responsibilities of a father to his family?

작성자: 김*경
2023-02-13 353

회원님의 영작문

This question helps me think a lot about being a father. Like most fathers, I became a father to a tiny baby 13 years ago without any preparation. As our couple raised a child, we came to know that parents should learn how to be parents. Fortunately, there were many good programs that help our couple be a biblical good parent in the church just around the corner. We learned a lot by taking classes and reading related books. However, we as parents still feel inadequate. Whenever I meet a friend with about my age, I’ve tried to learn his know-how and experience with child education. That makes two of us because parents have an inherent passion to be good fathers to their kids and good husbands to their wives. Moreover, fathers should be financially, mentally, and spiritually responsible for their families. I think that a father is not only a breadwinner but also a captain of a ship called ‘family“. A father is a captain, a navigator, and a cook. :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for your answer, Steve. I would like to specifically commend your line, "I think that a father is not only a breadwinner but also a captain of a ship called ‘family“" because of how it made me smile and think of my own father. In fact, I think it should be one of those official quotes on the internet with your name in the end, like "-Steve Kim, 2023" :D This composition together with the stories you've shared in our classes about your family leave me with the impression that you are a responsible father. God bless your family, Steve. :)
~T.Harmony 

This question helps me think a lot about being a father. 
>> CORRECT!
Like most fathers, I became a father to a tiny baby 13 years ago without any preparation. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...without any prior experience.
As our couple raised a child, we came to know that parents should learn how to be parents. 
>> As a couple raising a child,...
Fortunately, there were many good programs that help our couple be a biblical good parent in the church just around the corner. 
>> ...good programs that helped us become biblically good parents...
We learned a lot by taking classes and reading related books. 
>> CORRECT!
However, we as parents still feel inadequate. 
>> CORRECT!
Whenever I meet a friend with about my age, I’ve tried to learn his know-how and experience with child education. 
>> ...tried to learn from his know-how and experience...
That makes two of us because parents have an inherent passion to be good fathers to their kids and good husbands to their wives. 
>> CORRECT!
Moreover, fathers should be financially, mentally, and spiritually responsible for their families. 
>> CORRECT!
I think that a father is not only a breadwinner but also a captain of a ship called ‘family“. 
>> CORRECT!
A father is a captain, a navigator, and a cook. :)
>> CORRECT!
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