¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree with ¡°chemical castration¡± as punishment for more child sex offenders?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2023-02-10 355

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that chemical castration can be the most effect measure to prevent additional crime. We have seen a lot of offenders who commited brutal crime and repeat it again and again. There is a healing program for prisoners to prevent reoffending following their release in the jail. Although, prisoners take a lot of education inculding psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. I think that major reason keeping high crimine rate is lenient sentence. Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectaion. They insist that heavy sentense can't be the way to reduce or prevent crime. They think proper trainning in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. According to the report published by professional group shows significant evidence that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than heavy sentense. However, we don't want to be exposed in the dangerouos situation due to criminals who was released from the jail. We need stronger

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I think that chemical castration can be the most effect measure to prevent additional crime. 
>> I think that chemical castration can be the most effective measure to prevent additional crimes. 
We have seen a lot of offenders who commited brutal crime and repeat it again and again. 
>> We have seen a lot of offenders who committed brutal crime and repeat it again and again. 
OR >> We have seen a lot of offenders who committed brutal crime and repeat all over again. 
There is a healing program for prisoners to prevent reoffending following their release in the jail. 
>> CORRECT!
Although, prisoners take a lot of education inculding psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. 
>> Although, prisoners take a lot of education including psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. 
I think that major reason keeping high crimine rate is lenient sentence. 
>> I think that major reason why the crime rate keeps going high is because lenient sentences. 
OR >> I think that major reason why the crime rate keeps going high is because lenient punishments. 
Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectaion. 
>> Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectations
They insist that heavy sentense can't be the way to reduce or prevent crime. 
>> They insist that heavy sentence can't be the way to reduce or prevent crimes. 
They think proper trainning in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. 
>> They think proper training in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. 
According to the report published by professional group shows significant evidence that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than heavy sentense. 
>> According to the report published by professional group, they show significant evidences that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than a heavy sentence
However, we don't want to be exposed in the dangerouos situation due to criminals who was released from the jail.
>> However, we don't want to be exposed to the dangerous situation due to criminals who were released from the jail.
We need stronger
>> We need stronger punishments and strict policies.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125270 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-02 552
125269 2023-2/1 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 239
125268 homework3 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 441
125267 To you, what is a memorable movie? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 2
125266 I think ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 406
125265 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 464
125264 The most important thing ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 598
125263 Do you think you can be objective when it comes to issues that... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 2
125262 Describe the best trip you have ever been on. What happened? Why... ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 2
125261 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 370
125260 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 248
125259 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 373
125258 How do you motivate yourself when you feel tired of everything? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 517
125257 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 590
125256 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 406
125255 IELTS book1 54p - Question1 / IELTS one sentence of writing essay ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 316
125254 What\'s the best and worst birthday you\'ve ever had? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 449
125253 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 1
125252 The movie? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 373
125251 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04