¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree with ¡°chemical castration¡± as punishment for more child sex offenders?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2023-02-10 539

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that chemical castration can be the most effect measure to prevent additional crime. We have seen a lot of offenders who commited brutal crime and repeat it again and again. There is a healing program for prisoners to prevent reoffending following their release in the jail. Although, prisoners take a lot of education inculding psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. I think that major reason keeping high crimine rate is lenient sentence. Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectaion. They insist that heavy sentense can't be the way to reduce or prevent crime. They think proper trainning in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. According to the report published by professional group shows significant evidence that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than heavy sentense. However, we don't want to be exposed in the dangerouos situation due to criminals who was released from the jail. We need stronger

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I think that chemical castration can be the most effect measure to prevent additional crime. 
>> I think that chemical castration can be the most effective measure to prevent additional crimes. 
We have seen a lot of offenders who commited brutal crime and repeat it again and again. 
>> We have seen a lot of offenders who committed brutal crime and repeat it again and again. 
OR >> We have seen a lot of offenders who committed brutal crime and repeat all over again. 
There is a healing program for prisoners to prevent reoffending following their release in the jail. 
>> CORRECT!
Although, prisoners take a lot of education inculding psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. 
>> Although, prisoners take a lot of education including psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. 
I think that major reason keeping high crimine rate is lenient sentence. 
>> I think that major reason why the crime rate keeps going high is because lenient sentences. 
OR >> I think that major reason why the crime rate keeps going high is because lenient punishments. 
Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectaion. 
>> Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectations
They insist that heavy sentense can't be the way to reduce or prevent crime. 
>> They insist that heavy sentence can't be the way to reduce or prevent crimes. 
They think proper trainning in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. 
>> They think proper training in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. 
According to the report published by professional group shows significant evidence that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than heavy sentense. 
>> According to the report published by professional group, they show significant evidences that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than a heavy sentence
However, we don't want to be exposed in the dangerouos situation due to criminals who was released from the jail.
>> However, we don't want to be exposed to the dangerous situation due to criminals who were released from the jail.
We need stronger
>> We need stronger punishments and strict policies.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126021 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 535
126020 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 285
126019 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 307
126018 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 483
126017 Young people these days, do not enjoy family gatherings. What do... Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 443
126016 I sometimes make food. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 72
126015 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 0
126014 [Writing Task] What is the difference between studying at the... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1
126013 How to cook your own fascinating food ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 384
126012 Go back ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 4
126011 Describe your dream dog in one sentence. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 0
126010 Sunday, February 24th, 2022 ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 2
126009 What are the other benefits of learning another language at this... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 2
126008 The major change in my life. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 337
126007 The one thing I want to change ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 618
126006 Do you think animal testing should be banned? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 576
126005 Describe the biggest surprise you have ever had in your life. ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 506
126004 Do you really need to have a college education to be successful?... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 376
126003 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 628
126002 Who do you think is responsible for lost parcels? The... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 574

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04