¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do some people collect things? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-07 754

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First, people collect things to remind themselves of something, such as a trip, a family event, or important times. In my case, I have bought books relating to places, or buildings that I visited for some reason. Second, people collect things for personal accomplishments. For instance, one of my acquaintances collects fridge magnets of his visiting places or buildings and put them on the iron-made world map to point out what countries he visited. The world map also works as a good decoration in the living room. Lastly, people collect things to hand over to their close people like their children or friends. My parents collected commemorative coins for the Olympic game held in Korea because they believed their special coins would become more valuable than their original value someday. They are going to hand over the coins to their sons or grandchildren to help them financially.
What makes you collect things? Just begin to collect something from today. You can be inspired by it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve!
Thank you for your composition today.
Take note of the corrections below.
I hope you learn from them and apply them in your daily studies.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
First, people collect things to remind themselves of something, such as a trip, a family event, or important times. 
>> Correct
In my case, I have bought books relating to places, or buildings that I visited for some reason. 
>> Correct
Second, people collect things for personal accomplishments. 
>> Correct
For instance, one of my acquaintances collects fridge magnets of his visiting places or buildings and put them on the iron-made world map to point out what countries he visited. 
>> For instance, one of my acquaintances collects fridge magnets from places or buildings he visited and put them on an iron-made world map to point out what countries he visited. 
The world map also works as a good decoration in the living room. 
>> Correct
Lastly, people collect things to hand over to their close people like their children or friends. 
>> Lastly, people collect things to hand over to people close to them like their children or friends. 
My parents collected commemorative coins for the Olympic game held in Korea because they believed their special coins would become more valuable than their original value someday. 
>> Correct
They are going to hand over the coins to their sons or grandchildren to help them financially.
>> Correct
What makes you collect things? 
>> Correct
Just begin to collect something from today. 
>> Correct
You can be inspired by it.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127318 What other forms of transportation are less safe in your... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 2
127317 Do you agree with the expression ¡°once an adulterer, always an... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 4
127316 What other best ways to develop one\'s social skills? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 1
127315 How do you try to learn more about childrearing? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 1
127314 What American culture/s have you appreciated since you moved... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 1
127313 Which ice cream flavor do you prefer? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 0
127312 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 673
127311 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 916
127310 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 1102
127309 What are some things you shouldn\'t ask people you just met? ±è*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 761
127308 Sci-fi movies ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 1
127307 4.10 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 1087
127306 To do list in following weekend ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 1
127305 4.10 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 954
127304 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 1
127303 4/10 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 1030
127302 What¡¯s the best news you¡¯ve received over the phone? ±è*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 938
127301 custody ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 1183
127300 Love my daughter ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 2
127299 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-10 977

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04